


Cops and Robbers

by DisneyMuse



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill is a Cop, BillDip, Billdip Week, Blood, Dipper is a Supernatural Cat Burglar, Human Bill Cipher, M/M, Slow Burn, cops and robbers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 19:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6920200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisneyMuse/pseuds/DisneyMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper Pines never intended to be a thief, but for his friends, family, and any supernatural creature desperate enough to need his services, he'll be there.</p><p>Bill Cipher fully intended to cause as much trouble as he could for the people that interested him. Whether they wanted him hunting them down or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Lonely Doll

**Author's Note:**

> For BillDip Week May 2016, Day 6, Cops and Robbers- or at least that's how it started...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper wasn’t sure if he had begun to need this as much as others needed him to go out there and go on some kind of crazy cat burglar scheme. He hardly protested as much as he once did. Was it that he was living off of some kind of adrenaline rush? Did he enjoy being some kind of Robin hood-like hero? Did he just have a serious problem that he needed to go to therapy for?
> 
> As Dipper found himself cornered in an old run down mall, wearing a black leather cat suit, clutching the creepiest porcelain doll he’d ever seen, he was fairly certain there wasn’t a psychiatrist alive that could help him.

It only took two minutes for the cops to respond. They were getting faster. But so was he. With each heist he was growing. Learning. Each time he said it would be the last time. That he'd only get what he needed. But each time he returned home, he found more people that 'needed' him.

When his sister first became ill, there was no question about it. Dipper Pines was willing to do anything to save Mabel. Even if it meant turning to a life of crime. But people would wonder how some street rat managed to pay for an expensive operation such as this. Luckily, the Northwests were willing to lend a hand… not enough to actually pay for the operation, but at the very least to claim they did and continue to look like a charitable family. All they asked was for him to break into a private art collection and destroy an incriminating historical document for them. Simple enough, but Dipper had promised himself that it would be the last time.

Dipper had been breaking a lot of promises recently.

He promised his Grunkle Stan that he'd stay out of trouble.

But Grunkle Stan also promised the Russian Mafia a certain rare gem years ago which Dipper needed to obtain in his place if he wanted to stop seeing that red dot hover over his Grunkle's head at breakfast.

He promised his best friend Soos that they'd both have a normal weekend out.

Soos never even realized Dipper's walk in the woods resulted in Dipper having to steal a magical heart stone important to a tribe of pixies who were going to die if the archaeologist that discovered the stone decided to keep it in the museum for a day longer.

He promised Mabel he'd never do this again.

But he always found another reason to return.

He just wasn't sure if he had begun to need this as much as others needed him to go out there and go on some kind of crazy cat burglar scheme. He hardly protested as much as he once did. Was it that he was living off of some kind of adrenaline rush? Did he enjoy being some kind of Robin hood-like hero? Did he just have a serious problem that he needed to go to therapy for?

As Dipper found himself cornered in an old run down mall, wearing a black leather cat suit, clutching the creepiest porcelain doll he'd ever seen, he was fairly certain there wasn't a psychiatrist alive that could help him.

The shrill whine of the police sirens pierced his ears as Dipper tried to find a reasonable place to hide out. They couldn't have known he was still on foot. They'd seen 'him' drive off in a getaway car heading on the opposite side of town- a trick he'd learned from his Grunkle Stan. It was amazing how little payment or explanation it took for someone to keep driving even when they were getting chased by cops. Soon they'd gone, and Dipper could sneak away into something more casual.

Dipper stayed still, curled up under an old stairwell. He closed his eyes and covered his ears to block out the sounds. Like a child hiding under the covers convinced that the monsters couldn't see him just because he'd blocked himself off. It was stupid to fall into that illusory sense of safety, but right now he needed to focus on getting his heart rate down.

The illusion was broken by a sharp click and the cold feeling of metal around Dipper's wrist.

"Here, kitty kitty." A voice taunted as they shined a light in Dipper's face. Dipper could barely make out the face of his captor with the flashlight blinding him. His gaze almost looked yellow from how the light reflected off the man's shades.

Dipper froze. No… not here… out of all the scenarios where he got caught, did he really have to go down in one so stupid? He imagined maybe driving off a bridge in an epic car chase, or cornered in a building only to come out guns blazing. Something cooler than being stuck in a stupid cat suit getting caught over stealing some doll!

"Well aren't you the cutest little cat burglar! What's your name? I'm sure your owner is worried sick about you." The man taunted as he directed the light away from Dipper's eyes. Bill set the flashlight down on one of the steps so they could have a bit of light without having to hold it. He was dressed like a cop, but he certainly didn't look like one. More like some insane comic book supervillain that had decided to dress up like a police officer to taunt the heroes. He was even wearing shades indoors at night like he thought he was on some kind of cop show. Probably thought he was some kind of big shot. All Dipper could think was that he just enjoyed screwing with people.

The blond haired cop gave an eerie chuckle as he removed his glasses. "Awe, not in a friendly mood? Why don't I start? The name's Bill Cipher- now it's your turn. Speak! Or is that command not in your bag of tricks?"

Looking at him dead in the eyes was worse without his glasses. His right eye was scratched out by countless jagged scars. Did some wild animal decide it had a vendetta against the look in his one eye, or had something else lead to his violent loss of depth perception? Quickly, Dipper looked away trying to not let the man unnerve him. _'Don't say anything incriminating.'_ No matter what evidence was found on him, there was no reason to dig himself deeper into the ground.

Bill yanked the young man up on his feet by the handcuff chain, putting his hand under his chin forcing Dipper to look him in the eye. That mix of cruelty and joy in the single wide open eye made half of Dipper want to run for his life. Yet the other half was trying to solve a mystery. Who was this man?

"I didn't say you had the right to remain silent."

Dipper had no idea what was this man's game or if he was even a real officer. Only one of the cuffs was on his right hand, the other loosely held by his captor. Bill may look like he had longer legs than him, but Dipper had spent plenty of his life running. If he could just get a good head start, and if this creep was here alone, he might still have a chance to get away.

Quickly, Dipper shoved Bill back, yanking the handcuff from his grasp. Bill stumbled back a few feet as Dipper made a run for it. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Anything to get himself away from this maniac.

Bill only let out a laugh. He'd expected this kind of pathetic attempt. "Awe, too hard of a question for you then? Let me give you a hint- A Pine Tree right in the middle of Ursa Major!"

Dipper froze in his tracks. Not only had he seen his face, but he knew his name too? Did he know where he lived? Had he followed him? How much did this 'Bill' know about him? If that was even his real name.

"What… what do you know?" Dipper asked with his voice cracking like he was still going through puberty. He wished he still was right now. At least if he was still a minor, he wouldn't face as harsh of a jail sentence.

"Oh… I know lots of things…" Bill's voice echoed throughout the old abandoned halls. Even if it weren't for the acoustics of the place, his voice was clearly too loud to be indoors. His voice boomed through the air, demanding an audience wherever it traveled.

Bill calmly walked up behind his prey, his finger brushing against the fake polyester cat ears on the young man's head. "Although the cat suit is a surprise. What's that all about anyways?"

Dipper wanted to run again, but if Bill knew his name, then he was caught more than by the silver cuff dangling limply from his wrist. But this all seemed so wrong… wasn't there supposed to be some kind of procedure? Being read his rights? What was he doing? Maybe if he could figure out his game, he could manage a way out of this.

"Something about discouraging my bad habits." Dipper grumbled. It was his sister's idea. That if he was going to go out to continue his criminal activities, he needed to feel more embarrassed about doing it. And if someone did catch a look at him, they'd be more distracted by 'why the heck is this kid dressed up like a cat' than to notice any specific features about his appearance. Or at the very least buy him a few seconds of confusion to make a run for it. Although it only seemed to amuse Bill more.

"Awe, someone's a naughty little kitty!" Bill teased as he poked Dipper with a newly extended police baton. "And what's this new toy of yours you're chewing on?" Bill asked quickly snatching the doll from Dipper's hand.

"That doesn't belong to you!" Dipper shouted immediately trying to reach and grab the fragile doll that he was probably going to end up getting caught stupidly over.

Bill dangled the doll high up in the air, out of Dipper's reach. "Doesn't belong to you either, Pine Tree!" Bill cackled as he enjoyed playing keep away. "Better tell me what you were doing robbing some wrinkly old Victorian doll collector before I let my hand slip."

Dipper attempted to jump up and grab the doll back, but Bill was just too tall for him. "I was just going to sell it! Come on, don't break it! Aren't you supposed to at least try and return it!?" Dipper yelled.

Bill only laughed. "Awe, but the only thing more fun than watching the faces of all those stuck up idiots when they find out 'the criminal' destroyed their mark is a good story! So spill, Pine Tree! No money missing, no one hurt, not even the most valuable piece of the collection stolen. What got you out of bed tonight?"

Dipper's fingers weaved through his bangs frustrated. "…You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Seen plenty of weird stuff! I'd be surprised if you really could tell me something that broke the top 10!" Bill chuckled as he dangled the doll by the ankle, much to Dipper's frustration.

Dipper groaned, wishing he'd be more careful with the thing he went through so much trouble to get. "I'm just trying to put a little girl to rest." Dipper whispered as he rubbed his fingers against his temple.

"Oh really?" Bill questioned as he rested the doll on the tip of his baton to use as a makeshift stick puppet. "And you couldn't think of any easier ways to go about it? Buy her some cheap plastic Barbie or maybe a bedtime story?"

Dipper reached out to take the doll back, but once again Bill pulled it away. Dipper sighed as he continued. "She wanted _this_ doll. It was _hers_." Dipper insisted glancing aside, not wanting to go into detail. Bill already knew he was a crook. No reason to let him think he was crazy as well.

Bill chuckled at the vague details. But he started to get an idea of what was going on. "Gee, either that little girl of yours and the old man that called us in are going to have a nice long argument about ownership, or I'm guessing that girl is a lot older than you're letting on. You working out some kind of séance, Pine Tree?" Bill deduced.

Dipper flinched back, surprised that he was not only believed, but that Bill guessed the scenario. "So… you believe me?" He wondered. Even those that had seen the supernatural usually went into denial.

"You'd have to be blind not to see it." Bill chuckled as he played with the doll's hands to cover its own eyes. "Let's just say, I've had a run in or two with demons of my own."

Dipper's gaze drifted back toward the scars over Bill's right eye. Like something had tried to tear it out. What exactly was his story?

"…So does that mean you'll give it back then?" Dipper asked skeptically. The 'cop' had many chances to put him under arrest by now. Would he be lucky enough to get away with his freedom tonight?

"Not so fast, Pine Tree!" Bill exclaimed as he rested the doll atop his black police hat. "I've been keeping my eye on you- All kinds of little odd jobs you've got under your belt. A stolen rare artifact here, a destroyed painting there- enough damage to keep you away for a couple of years, and prevent you from ever getting a decent job for the rest of your life. Your freedom is going to cost a bit more than the cute little story you've told."

Dipper's fist clenched as he started to get an idea of what Bill was getting at. "So you're blackmailing me?"

Bill's eye rolled at how easy it was to rile the young man up. "That's a strong word…. I like to think of it of it as a trade. This little doll for a new plaything."

Dipper looked down at his feet. It wasn't the first time he'd been manipulated. _'I know what you did. If you want to get away with it, you'll do it again.'_ It was how his first one-time deal turned into a string of crimes.

"What would you have me do?" Dipper asked bitterly, knowing that Bill had him backed in a corner. It was either agree to his terms, or jail. And if any of his Grunkle's stories were true, he knew he wouldn't last long in there. Not to mention the debt he'd leave his family in. Mabel's medical bills alone would bring them into ruin. They needed his support, no matter how much they disliked where it came from.

"Awe, don't look so glum, Pine Tree! I'm not asking you to shoot a man or anything! Although I can think of a senator or two that could use a bullet to the head." Bill remarked with a shrug. It was hard to tell whether or not the one-eyed officer was joking.

"I just want you to keep doing what you're doing! Help out all the little ghost girls and forest gremlins you like! I just have a few extra… requests." Bill remarked with a shark-like grin that sent a shiver down Dipper's spine.

Bill held out a gloved hand. Despite the white color, Dipper could see the stains. It was hard to tell what they were in this low light. Grime? Scorch marks? Blood? To say the man's hands were dirty must have been an understatement.

"Do we have a deal?" Bill asked.

Dipper had two options. He could accept his fate, go to jail, do his time and take whatever consequences came with it. But after those years passed, even if his crimes would still linger in his past, at least he could be done with it for good. And yet the other option…

Somehow he knew that if he took the hand in front of him, there would be no more "one last job". There wouldn't be a getting caught or jail sentence that would last a few years. He wouldn't just suffer a worse fate, but he'd be physically unable to turn back. He already had trouble resisting a job. And judging by the wild look in Bill's eye, it would only get more intense. Bill wasn't offering him his freedom for this night- just a different set of chains. But part of him had to admit- swinging around them could get interesting.

Dipper reached out his hand toward Bill's. The dirty cop's grin grew wider as he waited for his pawn to cross the board. His hand hovered still waiting, only for Dipper to reach out and grab the doll off of Bill's head. Bill didn't bother to stop him, but wondered what Dipper planned to do.

"You don't want a deal- you want a dog." Dipper said bluntly. He tucked the doll under his arm and turned away.

"You're just going to go to jail then? How boring." Bill questioned crossing his arms. He tapped the extendable baton against the back of his head.

"Call your buddies on me if you like. If I've got to run, then that's what I'll do. But if I go down-" Dipper then took a small thin black object out of his pocket "-I'm thankful to have a sibling that wanted to record every embarrassing second of it to ensure I have company."

Bill's mouth dropped. Was that… a recording device? Did this kid really think he could get one up on him by turning the blackmail back on him? It might not be too difficult to get rid of the evidence. But if that was a phone, it might be set to upload the data automatically. Either way, he had to admit it was a fun little card for his target to play!

Dipper didn't look back as he continued to walk away. "If you want to play another round of cat and mouse, I'm guessing you know where to find me, Cipher. But I have a little girl I need to get to that deserves some peace. You might know lots of things, but I've found myself lots of friends. And I don't think any of them are ready to let me go down without a fight."

Bill's hand remained fixed in the air. He was so certain he knew how that was going to play out. Yet it turned out much more interesting than he hoped for. He brought his hands together for a slow clap as he watched his little cat burglar walk away.

"Cops and robbers, huh? Fun little game, Pine Tree! Can't wait for round 2!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written BillDip before, but I saw the prompt of Cops and Robbers and the idea of Dipper being the thief seemed interesting to me. This was just intended to be a one-shot, but depending on the response depends on how much more I write. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!


	2. Shining Leo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill Cipher.
> 
> What was he even doing here?!
> 
> Was it just a coincidence that he was the extra police patrol assigned to the job? Or had he somehow seen Dipper's pattern and was here just to harass him? Did he intend to catch him this time, or was he going to pitch another deal? Either way, this job suddenly got a lot more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back by popular demand. Despite the simple prompt, and now I've got ideas swimming in my head! Hope you're happy with it, because I know something in my head got out of hand. Now to look into safer ways than a metal plate to keep a demon out of my mind.

If you knew anything about Chamel-Leons, you'd understand that despite their fierce appearance, they're extremely gentle and shy creatures. They would tear up their prey in a heartbeat, but if a human ever laid eyes on them, they'd freeze in an instant, blend into their surroundings and the person would never know they'd encountered the noble beast. Of course, unlike normal lions, these felines when fully grown were no bigger than a house cat. Maybe it was some encounter the species had with the growing and shrinking crystals of Gravity Falls, or maybe being smaller had ensured their survival. For whatever reason, these little guys had become good about staying in the shadows. For anyone lucky enough to see them, it was a sign that you were truly part of the world of the supernatural.

But if you knew nothing about Chamel-Leons and you happened to encounter a youth that had gone exploring in the city when it decided to practice imitating something shiny it saw, your first thought wouldn't be "This is a living being that probably shouldn't have strayed so far from home", you'd think more along the lines of "HOLY SHIT! IT'S A LION MADE OUT OF SOLID DIAMOND! I'M A MILLIONAIRE!" The poor little thing would be unable to resist it's instincts as it froze up, remaining looking like some kind of prize piece in a gallery until it wasn't being watched anymore. And with magical creatures, instinct usually meant "laws you cannot break unless you want to be in excruciating pain, executed, or be ostracized to the likes of Big Foot and Nessie. And when a human found something as valuable as a lion-shaped diamond bigger than their fist, you can bet they would have all kinds of cameras watching it at all times.

The newspapers certainly enjoyed the buzz of questioning what this strange priceless artifact was about. Some kind of ancient culture's deity? Some sort of king immortalizing their family crest in diamond? Or just some freak natural phenomenon that coincidentally seemed to be shaped like a lion? The townsfolk were calling it the Shining Leo. Dipper called him Regulus.

It was hard to make friends with a race that went stone cold still when you were looking at it. But Dipper had learned his way around the supernatural, and was determined to learn more about these creatures. He knew how to bend a few laws, let alone get around vague enchantments keeping the felines hidden. Mirrors or looking through different lenses didn't seem to free the Chamel-Leons from whatever form they took when under a human's gaze, but simply closing his eyes allowed him to feel their warm fur in his hand. They didn't talk, but they were highly intelligent creatures. By forcing himself to be blind to interact with them, he'd learned to listen to the world around him. They taught him how to blend in and not be seen despite Dipper not having the magical ability to match his surroundings- their small size probably helped them keep out of public gaze for so long as well. Yet here was their youngest cub, frozen on the front page of the Gravity Falls Gossiper. They didn't even need to ask for help before Dipper started making his plans.

Luckily, the person that "discovered" Regulus was hardly some millionaire with access to all kinds of security. But he wasn't an idiot. He "allowed" the museum to put the Shining Leo on display while he worked through appraisers and finding a final buyer for the supposedly priceless gemstone. This gave Dipper a limited time to plan out his heist. But this wasn't the first time he had to hastily put together a rescue mission or theft due to time constraints. Luckily, he'd broken into the Gravity Falls museum before and knew his way in and out better than the owner them self. But whenever he stole or damaged property from there, it was never anything this 'valuable'. Usually just an old painting by some no-name artist or an artifact yet to be appraised. He may have stolen a gemstone or two, but nothing put in the limelight like this. Dipper managed not to make a name for himself in his criminal career. Everything he stole before was odd and spread out enough that people hadn't connected the dots. The cops assumed it was just some kids pulling pranks or a bunch of small time thieves that would fade into the background of unsolved case files. This job could get him a reputation, something Dipper had desperately been trying to avoid.

…And yet once again he was wearing the damn cat suit.

"It's good luck!" Mabel encouraged him as she tucked the cat ears over her brother's bangs.

Dipper grudgingly adjusted the headpiece so his hair would at least cover his forehead. "Good luck? Last time I wore this, I got caught… although the embarrassment is still kicking in."

"Duh, don't you realize how lucky that is?! A cop had you handcuffed, and you still managed to make it back home! I have underestimated the power of kitties! It's more than just to keep you in check- it gave you nine lives! Now don't waste the other 8!"

Come home. After all of Dipper's broken promises, that's all Mabel wanted anymore. She knew she couldn't stop him, and more than that she knew her brother was doing it for a good cause. He never stole for himself. He always stuck his tail out for someone else, even if they were practically a stranger. Because when a phantom or fairy had no one else to turn to, Dipper Pines was the only one crazy enough to stand up for them. It was hard not to be proud of him. But the worry usually won out. The best Mabel could do was not to stand in his way, but to make sure he was prepared. She didn't just sew his suit for him, but she made sure he had all sorts of little goodies on his "utility belt". She may not be directly going in with him, but she helped him in her own ways.

Getting in was simple. While Gravity Falls had certainly grown over their years, their history museum was hardly housing any national treasures. The Shining Leo was probably the most valuable thing to ever have been within its walls. The only reason it was here was because it was only slightly better security than its current owner's basement. Oh, they had the usual motion sensors and lasers watching the actual gem. But this wasn't exactly Mission Impossible. Although pretending it was just made it that much more exciting.

The history wing was the least guarded and patrolled area of the museum. As easy to break into as it was when he was a kid. The alarm settings on the window had never been fixed- although Dipper suspected that after tonight, the museum curator would finally realize that fatal flaw. But for now, he just had to focus on tonight. They'd doubled the night guard for the occasion… and by that, it went from a whopping one person patrolling to two. Clearly, they pulled out all the stops. Dipper found the display of the goldminer strumming his banjo. Perfect. Taking the first item from a pouch on his belt, Dipper clipped a little woodpecker toy to the bridge of the banjo, winding it and kept count of how many times he did so. No sign of the guards yet. Chances were, they were focused on the main display room where Regulus was.

Dipper kept his eyes on his watch. Timing was everything tonight. He had 5 minutes before his toy went off. 10 minutes before Mabel was set to kill the power. Depending on the night guards reaction time, it would take anywhere from 2 to 10 more minutes to get the power running again. And once the power was down, the guards would be on full alert and the main police force would be sure to be on their way. He needed to be out of the building by the time the power was back on. It would be difficult enough to get away, let alone when the police arrived.

Dipper took his first look at the main display room where as he guessed the patrol men stood at the ready. The first one was the usual night guardsman, his flashlight fixed at attention on the lion gemstone as if it were ready to disappear at any second. The second had their flashlight aimed at the ceiling and was making shadow puppets. But it was his face that Dipper was focused on.

Bill Cipher.

What was he even doing here?!

Was it just a coincidence that he was the extra police patrol assigned to the job? Or had he somehow seen Dipper's pattern and was here just to harass him? Did he intend to catch him this time, or was he going to pitch another deal? Either way, this job suddenly got a lot more complicated. The one-eyed cop whistled an eerie tune, much to the frustration of his current partner. He certainly seemed to be happily enjoying his night of staring off into space. He knew he was awaiting company.

Dipper took a deep sigh. He could still do this- he had a plan. Dipper placed his second toy in the hands of a suit of armor that was perfectly in line with the display case. He stretched out a rubber band between the device and the thumb of the knight. It would take 3 minutes before the friction gave way causing the device to fire, and he had about 30 seconds left before the woodpecker on the banjo went off. He glanced back at Bill and the other security guard. They hadn't noticed him yet. Good. As he looped around to the opposite side entrance of the display room, he could hear the sounds of the banjo strumming echoing through the dead silence of the museum. It was enough to alert and confuse the normal night guard. On cue, he left the main display room to go investigate. It would take him about 5 minutes minimum to walk there, check for the cause of the sound and walk back. But he'd have more of a reason to panic before then. Bill of course remained, but Dipper would expect anyone to- that was why there were two of them after all.

As he hid behind an Egyptian tablet, Dipper tried to size up what he could from a quick glance: If there was security patrolling the room, then there wouldn't any pressure or motion sensors in the general area. Up close though, he could already see the red lasers within the display case. The security cameras were guaranteed to be filming now, waiting for his debut. The lasers would be set off the alarm the second there was any interference. But nothing that Dipper hadn't planned on. It was Bill that worried Dipper. He didn't think or behave like the average cop. What Dipper had planned might not fool him.

But Dipper had not time to adjust his plans. It was go time. But once the other security guard was far enough away and Bill was alone, he turned off his flashlight and smirked.

"Ready to come out to play, Pine Tree?"

Dipper froze behind the obelisk. Events were already in motion. It was too late to stop. In the pure darkness, Dipper could only hear the footsteps get closer. Dipper's gaze remained fixed on the red dot in the upper corner of the room indicating that the security camera was still recording. Power was supposed to be down in 10 seconds. Come on Mabel…

"Here to rescue your little friend? I knew this would be your kind of gig!"

He knew there was a living being there under that glass and he did nothing?! Was this just a game to him?! Dipper clenched his fist wanting to punch Bill right in his good eye. He didn't have to see his face to know he probably wore a shit eating grin right now.

6….5…4…

"Gotten used to the life yet? Once you know where to look, it's hard not to see the signs of your handiwork. What's it been, a year now? Haven't been too busy though. What, got better things to do?"

The footsteps were getting louder. He was close. Dipper knew Bill was trying to rile him up. Get him scared or angry. And man was it working.

3….2… 1…

"You got enough things distracting you? Maybe if you had a few less of those distractions you could come out to play more often. Who really needs a dumb sister anyways?"

Just as Dipper was about to pounce out and introduce Bill to his five fingered friend, the sound of the power whirring down interrupted Bill's taunts. The thin red lights from the camera and lasers fizzled out. Bill's attention turned behind him. What was going on?

It was just then that the device Dipper set up on the knight fired. It shot out a small projectile at the display case. The cheap glass covering shattered and Bill's attention shot over to where the projectile was fired from. Was he wrong about Pine Tree's location? But breaking the glass wasn't the only purpose of the projectile- once it made contact with its target, it broke open releasing a thick odorless black smoke obstructing view. Bill turned on his light, trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of the person that fired it as he walked closer toward the source. The only thing he was able to make out was a humanoid figure in the distance.

With his attention diverted, Dipper pulled a small slice of raw meat from a zip lock in a pouch on his belt. When Bill set up the playing field he neglected to realize that this wasn't as much as a theft as it was a rescue mission. With the cameras out, Bill investigating the statue, and the glass case broken, the little Chamel-Leon was free to move about. The glass shards shifted as the cub tried to make its way out of the rubble. Regulus was a bit dazed from having been stuck in one form for days, but his hunger longing for a tasty meal helped get him active. Pouncing down from the podium, it began to recognize a familiar scent mixed in as well. Dipper! The cub's pace sped up as it began to leap toward its friend. Dipper closed his eyes and caught the little guy in a black hand-towel which was the size of a large comfy blanket for the cub.

"It's alright, I've got you." Dipper whispered quietly under his breath. Even though looking at the Chamel-Leon would cause him to freeze up again, Dipper could still feel the rustling in his palms as the cub chewed apart the meaty treat that Dipper prepared for him. Dipper carefully moved Regulus to the pouch on his belt where he could eat and rest without being seen. "Just hold on a little. You'll be home before you know it."

Dipper had no more time to spare though as the flashlight shifted back in his direction. Dipper broke out into a sprint, really not looking forward to another confrontation with the crooked cop. Dipper already had the layout of the museum in his head- he'd have to go the long way to avoid running into the normal security guard that was probably returning by now, but he should still be able to make it back to the prairie display room before the rest of the cops showed up.

Dipper ran as fast as his feet would take him. They knew he was here now. He had to focus more on getting out. He could hear the shouts coming from down the hall- the original guard, not Bill. His silence scared Dipper more than his taunts. What was he doing? What was he planning? Where was he?

As Dipper turned through each hallway, he was relieved that the shouts from the other security guard was dying out. He was in the home stretch! He could almost see that friendly mining display now!

"Leaving so soon? But the party is just getting started!" Bill's voice cackled, echoing through the small room.

The lights of the museum began to spring to life, revealing Bill leaning on the window that was supposed to be Dipper's ticket out of there. But it turned out, it was just the entrance to a roach motel. Easy way in, no way out.

The sharp ringing of an old fashion bell alarm filled the halls of the museum. Dipper's hands jumped to his ears as he tried to muffle their sound. But they didn't even manage to silence Bill's laughter.

"Think I didn't know about-"

**RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG**

"What are you going to-"

**RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG**

"-PINE TREE!?"

Dipper darted away, trying to figure out what to do now that his initial escape plan was out the window. He could feel the panicked rustling of the Chamel-Leon out his pouch. All the main museum doors would be locking now. There were a few other displays by windows that he could try busting the glass to smash his way out of, but Bill was hot on his trail. Jumping through a window wasn't as simple as the movies would make it out to be. He could hardly keep running once he smashed through it, and in the time that it would take him to recover, Bill would be all over him. He'd need to shake the one-eyed officer first. As Dipper began to run past the portrait room, an idea began to spring to mind. Hopefully, Bill didn't know as much about this town as he thought he did.

The abstract pictures in the portrait hall hadn't changed over the years. What a cow skull, parrot and old church had in common Dipper would never know, but everyone always seemed to overlook the image of the long pole in the back center of the room. People admired the perspective used in the portrait for all of 10 seconds before moving along to some misshapen rock display and questioning its significance. No one ever thought to literally jump in the 'painting' as Dipper had. Not since the Society of the Blind Eye had been taken down at least.

It had been years since Dipper first investigated the Society. The tubes that once transported memory canisters still weaved about the museum untouched. No one remembered what they were used for, but no one contemplated it long enough to consider taking them down. They had all forgotten about the hidden passageways that rested in the underground of the museum. Only five people- including Dipper- should still have memory of this place. All people Dipper knew well. But that didn't stop Dipper from thinking Bill was still on his trail. As Dipper slid down the tube, the harsh ringing of the bells began to die down. Hopefully, his knowledge of this place would be enough to at least buy him time to escape.

The door to the 'Hall of the Forgotten' was up ahead, but that would just be a dead end. The 'Chamber of Erasing' was down the corridor to the right. From there, he remembered a few secret passages that led out around town. It's how the Society of the Blind Eye members entered without having to sneak through the museum's front door. Probably would have been a much simpler way to enter, but Dipper didn't want to risk revealing the underground passages in case he needed to use them to escape in the case of an emergency. Like now.

Dipper kept his footsteps light as he traversed the underground halls, carefully listening for anyone that might have followed him. It had been years since he first explored and mapped this place. The carved eyes on the walls continued to watch him, even when he knew the people that had drawn them were long gone. The torchlight flickered as Dipper walked down the hall. There was no way they could have been lit by the society members. Magic or science keeping them burning, who could say? With the kind of stuff the Society's founder dabbled in, it could be some of each.

As Dipper passed through the red curtain marked with a blind eye, he decided that this place was just as creepy as he once left it. Dipper sat down in the solitary chair near the center of the room, taking a moment to rest. Any of the escape passages into town would take some time to traverse, and as long as he couldn't hear anyone following behind him, this was the time to catch his breath. Dipper's eyes glanced at the chest marked with a blind eye where the memory gun once rested. How many memories were lost over the course of 30 years? The Hall of the Forgotten had been filled to the brim with memory canisters when he first found it. His own memories had gotten far too close to collecting dust in those halls years ago. But perhaps that was the key to solving his Bill problems.

The memory gun had been smashed in fear of it being used against anyone again. But if he could convince Fiddleford to fix it, all his Bill problems would be forgotten. It might take some convincing after what Fiddleford had been through, but the man was among the list of people that owed Dipper a favor or two, even after the mess with the Society. Then, it would be as simple as dialing 'Dipper Pines' into the gun and boom: Fire at Bill. Dipper knew it was a slippery slope- erase the memories of one person, and soon anyone else that got in his way. It was one of the reasons why the gun was destroyed in the first place. But if Bill was going to be a problem every time he tried to help out a friend or supernatural creature, what choice did he have?

Dipper's hand reached down to the rustling in his side pouch to release the poor Chamel-Leon for a bit. Regulus was still panicked from the experience, but Dipper closed his eyes to allow the cub to pace around his lap. Dipper might not be able to feel the strands of fur on the back of the little Chamel-Leon's growing tuft of a mane under his gloves, but he was still warm in his hands. A small rough tongue licked against his thumb to thank its rescuer. How close had he gotten to being sold to the highest bidder?

Bill's words echoed in Dipper's head: _'Here to rescue your little friend? I knew this would be your kind of gig!'_

Bill knew he would be here tonight. For all he knew, Bill might have staged the whole thing to lure him out. The thought of himself being the reason why some innocent creature got caught in the crossfire left a lump in Dipper's throat. He didn't know a lot about Bill, but using Regulus as bait didn't seem beneath him. That settled it- he had to get that memory gun fixed, even if it meant trying to figure out how to do it himself. Bill was too much of a threat to himself and his friends to allow him to keep hunting them. This night was far too much of a risk to all their safety. He couldn't sleep soundly while Bill knew his name.

…So why couldn't Dipper stop himself from smiling?

Why was it that he hadn't enjoyed himself this much in ages?

Had he actually been happy to see Bill standing in his way tonight?

The adrenaline rush that came with planning a heist was something that became more difficult to resist. But with how stupid the cops were in Gravity Falls, Dipper had never truly felt the threat of being caught until Bill had cornered him. It wasn't like that spike of fear that jolted through him when he ran from a rabid monster. It was a chess match between him and another intelligent being. There were more valuable things to be lost than his life. Yet there were more possibilities with each encounter. The questions behind who Bill was, how he knew about the supernatural, and what he wanted with him continued to race through his head. Dipper hadn't enjoyed this kind of mystery in a while. Why should he be so quick to eliminate his rival with none of his questions answered?

Dipper's thoughts were interrupted by the soft whine of the creature in his hands. Was the little guy scared of the look on his face or was somehow able to sense what was going through his head? What kind of insane psychopath must he look like?

"I'm sorry." Dipper whispered, apologizing already for letting his feelings get the best of him. Every logical thought in his head was urging him to stick with the memory gun plan. That these heists were just a necessity. This wasn't who he was, just who he was forced to be when the need arose. Indulging himself like that by letting someone like Bill run wild with his knowledge was just sloppy. Better to lock those feelings away with guilt than to experience the rush of joy and get caught.

But the Chamel-Leon possessed no sort of mind reading powers. It wasn't Dipper that it was scared of, but the figure coming up behind him. It froze, matching the black leather of Dipper's suit as the gaze of the one-eyed man laid upon it. It was only when the Chamel-Leon went stiff in his hand that Dipper realized he was too quick to let his guard down. He heard no footsteps, yet the strap of the chair wrapped around his chest all the same. How had he been so stupid?! This chair had bound many victims in the past. And now years after the Society of the Blind Eye's disbandment, it would claim one more.

"Kinky stuff you got down here, Pine Tree." Bill's voice screeched directly into Dipper's ear. It was only then that Dipper heard the sound of footsteps against the stone floor.

Dipper tried to squeeze his arm out to release himself, but as soon as his left hand came free, Bill slammed his wrist to the arm of the chair, binding it in place with a strap. He then tightened the back strap so Dipper couldn't easily get his other arm loose.

"The eyes and bondage don't seem like your style though- how did you manage to find such an interesting little clubhouse?" Bill taunted. The struggling young man only gave Bill further reason to laugh.

Bill looped around in front of Dipper, eager to get a look at the shock and panic on his face. Yet it wasn't some brat worried for his life that he was looking at. That look of determination on his face- not calm, yet filled with racing thoughts. He wasn't cracking like a baby- he was still fighting! This was why he let Pine Tree go the first time!

"And oh man, what a cool little place this is! Is it just under the museum, or the whole town? Gotta hand it to you Pine Tree, wouldn't have found it without ya! And you even waited for me to catch up! Did you just want to get me alone again?" Bill taunted as he pinched Dipper's cheek.

And then Bill took out something from one of the pouches on his police belt that could hardly be standard issue. A thin dagger little about a half a foot long. Bill's grin was reflected in the polished metal. "Looks like a perfect place to chat to me!"

Dipper was already figuring a way out of the chair, but his mind only went faster at the sight of the knife. This chair was meant to hold down people that were already dazed and confused. Not someone that was fully conscious and trying to escape. It wouldn't take him long to get out. It was what to do once he was out that was the issue. Luckily, Bill seemed to love the sound of his own voice. Keep him talking, and Dipper could continue working on a plan.

"As if, Cipher- If that is even your real name. Who are you, and what is your deal?!" Dipper shouted out as he shifted his wrist and tried to assess the buckle holding it.

Bill gave out a chuckle. "It's more of a real name than the one the rest of the world knows me by. You should fell honored I decided to let you in on it, kid! Not like you go by yours either- and man is it stupid sounding! No wonder you rather people calling you by your embarrassing birthmark!" Bill touched the point of his dagger to the center of Dipper's forehead- not enough to pierce the skin, but enough that Dipper could feel the cold pressure about to dig into him if he moved an inch.

 _'Don't think of the fact that it means he's looked up your records too'_ Dipper tried to tell himself as his right hand tried to push the Chamel-Leon back into his pockets. Once he escaped, he was going to have to move quickly. His eyes darted toward the decorative chest in the center of the room. It would have to do

"Come on, Cipher- just spill already. You're not going to bring down the cops if you want to keep this underground place a secret. So what do you want with me? Trying to make another deal?" Dipper asked. His wrist was slowly brushing the strap tighter in to loosen the buckle. Just a little more…

Bill chuckled as he brushed the bangs out of Dipper's forehead. His one eye went from Dipper's still calculating brown irises to the Big Dipper on his forehead. Bill's face was inches from Dippers as he poked at each little dot in the constellation of his birthmark with his blade. It was amazing how just a little flick could start a trickle of blood. Oh it wasn't nearly enough to hurt him much, but man did it improve the sight he was looking at! Wasn't it always fun to look at the stars? They were the prettiest shade of red tonight.

"I'll admit- I underestimated you. Even with all the pots I've got my fingers in, I still don't know everything about this strange little town. But you're a local! And not just any of the stupid ones either! Been digging up all the weirdness since you were 12, haven't you? We could have some fun conversations between the two of us. You could be more than just a pawn if you like. After all, you know what fun it is once you get one of those little babies across the board!" Bill moved the knife down from Dipper's forehead to flick off the drops of blood from it. He wouldn't need to shed much- just enough to trim his little tree to his liking.

Bill was way too close for his own good. And Dipper was willing to use that. Dipper head-butted the cop, forehead to forehead. Dipper may have regarded head-butts as one of the stupidest means of combat- hurting him almost as much as it hurt his opponent- but he didn't have a lot of options. With the few seconds of confusion, Dipper slid open the belt loop on his hand, using his free hand to release the rest of his body.

Bill seemed to be dazed, but mad laughter erupted from him as he stumbled backward. "Good one, Pine Tree! Nothing makes a game more fun than brain damage! Hope you don't get too many of those little brain cells beaten out of you by the end of this!" He called out as he tried to pick which one of the five Dippers now spinning around the room was the real one.

There was no time for playing soft. Dipper could already feel the weight of what he was about to do before he lifted up the blind eye chest. Dipper closed his eyes. His mind fluctuated between the strength behind his arms. How hard or soft? Dipper's heart pounded as the chest made contact with the man's forehead. The impact sent Bill crashing to the floor. Finally the man was silent. Too silent. Oh god- what had he done?

The chest dropped from Dipper's trembling hands. He could see the blood already dripping from the metal frame. The mark of the blind eye was now bright red on Bill's forehead, slowly becoming blurred as the blood flowed from it. No no no! Dipper had never actually hit someone with a blunt object like this before. How was he supposed to know how much weight was the difference between knocking someone out and killing them!?

Dipper knelt down to the cop, quickly going to his wrists. Thank goodness- there was still a pulse. But that could change soon.

_'No one would ever find the body down here.'_

The thought chilled Dipper to the bone. No… he wasn't a murderer. He didn't want to kill Bill! Just get out of his grasp. It didn't matter what the hell the sicko planned to do with him. That was no reason to end his life. Dipper frantically pulled the hand towel in his pocket that he used to tuck Regalus in with and tried to wipe away as much blood as he could. But it wasn't as much as Dipper's blow that was causing the blood to flow as it was the impact point that happened when Bill collided with the stone floor. The wound didn't look too deep, but Dipper was no doctor. The blood was still flowing even as Dipper put pressure to the side of his head. It wasn't soaking through the cloth yet, but would it be enough?

Mabel was right- this costume was lucky. In a sort of 'put you through hell, but comes with a way out' kind of way. The extra belt that hung from his backside to give him a sort of psudo-tail was perfect for binding the cloth to Bill's head. It would have to do for now. There was no way Dipper would be able to get a cell phone call to 911 down here, nor would the emergency team be able to find them. Meaning Dipper would have to drag him back up to the surface. Dipper could either turn back up to the museum that was probably swarming with cops by now, or go down the passageway that let out near the closest secret entrance from here- around Greasy's Dinner.

As Dipper got to his feet, he slowly picked Bill up, keeping the man's chest across the back of his shirt as if he was wearing him like a backpack. Dipper could feel the light flow of Bill's breathing down his neck. As he held onto Bill's arms, he could confirm he still had a pulse too. He was still in a stable enough condition that Dipper maybe didn't have to rush into getting arrested for theft and assaulting a cop to get Bill to medical attention. Even though Bill was larger than him, Dipper tried his best to run as fast as he could down the underground corridor toward Greasy's Diner.

By the time Dipper creaked open the hatch behind the old train car diner, he was about out of breath. Luckily, it was a slow and gradual ascent up to the surface rather than having to climb a ladder or any heavy duty stairs. Once Dipper was in line with the grass, he kneeled down to the ground, and rolled Bill off his back. Dipper could use a few good solid minutes on the ground as well after that trek. And yet between all the heavy breaths, Dipper couldn't help feeling proud of himself for managing to drag the ridiculously tall man about half a mile away. A weak chuckle escaped Dipper's lips.

"You happy, you maniac? I should have left you down there. But I guess we're both insane." Dipper mumbled to himself. The blood on Dipper's forehead was already dry from where Bill toyed with him. Who knew how much farther he planned on going? After all, no one discovering the body down in the Blind Eye's basement worked both ways. But now Bill probably was the one that looked worse for wear. The mark of the blind eye probably wouldn't scar too bad. But would he still need a doctor? Dipper's hand moved over to Bill's wrist to check his pulse again.

Only for Bill to weakly grab his hand back.

"How adorable! Now I know you've got a thing for me, Pine Tree!" Bill weakly cackled.

Dipper flinched back, kicking Bill in the gut as he tried to shuffle away.

"OOMPH! Alright, _maybe_ I deserved that." Bill mumbled as he tried to push himself off the ground. But he failed to get to his feet with how dizzy he was still feeling.

"You tied me to a chair and were going to start cutting into me! You deserve a lot worse!" Dipper shouted in his defense.

"Only a little! _Cut_ me some slack!" Bill yelled, chuckling at his own pun. It took a lot more than a blow to the head to make him shut him up.

Dipper was feeling a lot weaker after lugging Bill around, but Bill still looked a lot worse. If he was talking, at least Dipper didn't have to worry about calling 911 and drawing more attention to himself. Bill could worry about calling his own doctor if he was feeling so talkative. Dipper stumbled to his feet, prepared to leave Bill to it.

"We're done here." Dipper stated bluntly, unable to deal with Bill any further tonight.

Bill only continued to laugh. He didn't care if it hurt to do it after that kick, but he couldn't help it. "Maybe done here, but you're not done with me."

Dipper turned his back to Bill, trying not to listen to Bill as he walked away.

"You could have been done with all your problems down there. And I know you're smart enough to have made sure none of those idiots ever found a trace of me! Maybe it was some kind of human weakness, or maybe you still wanted to have some fun. But either way, now you're stuck with me!" Bill shouted back at Dipper.

Dipper continued to give him the cold shoulder. The only thing he found that shut Bill up was a blow to the head, and he really wasn't looking forward to going through that again tonight. He tried to increase his pace. The sooner he was out of earshot, the better. His hand went to the frantically moving cub in his side pouch. Bill wasn't what mattered tonight- it was supposed to be getting this little guy home. Yet it was still Bill's face burned into his mind. Maybe if he kept staring up at the starry sky above him, he could move on. But Bill's laughter still haunted him.

"You're not done with me, Pine Tree! And you know what the best part is? You don't want to be done with me either!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plenty of things in this AU are still in flux, but here's one thing I can confirm: This is a Gravity Falls where Bill wasn't involved in the canon events (Or at least in terms with Ford and building the Portal). So no Dreamscapers, Sock Opera, or Wierdmageddon have occurred for Dipper and Mabel. Not yet anyways. Most events, such as The Society of the Blind Eye, have occurred- just not in the same way. For example, without Bill to give Ford the breakthrough to study the weirdness leak in Gravity Falls, he went searching the world for oddities- for around 30 years. For any questions on this AU, feel free to leave a message in the comments or ask on my Tumblr at Disney-Muse! Bildip is still relatively unknown waters for me, so I rely on comments and input to figure out if I'm heading in the right direction.


	3. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say that criminals always returned to the scene of the crime. Well, it wasn’t exactly to enjoy their handiwork. For Dipper, it was that nagging feeling of “I know I left something incriminating behind.” There was an extremely low chance that anyone would find it. But he was already having enough trouble with Bill hunting him down. If he managed to get caught for something as silly as his blood anywhere near the crime scene, he’d never live it down. Being careful after the job was done was part of making sure that it wouldn’t ruin the rest of his life. But it was already starting to consume too many of his thoughts.

There were always a handful of loose ends after a job. Evidence to remove, checking to make sure nothing important was witnessed, and of course making sure that whatever he’d ‘stolen’ was returned to its proper place. The hard part was done, but there was always the cleanup that followed. At least going about in casual clothes was almost necessary to not attract any attention. Dipper was thankful to be in flannel and slacks rather than leather.

The first matter at hand was returning Regulus to his family. Dipper had been too tired to do much of anything when he got home, but Mabel certainly gave the little guy the full spa treatment. Massage, grooming, filling his belly- the works. After being stuck in one form for so long, one night of relaxation wouldn’t solve all his problems, but it would help get him on the road to recovery. Mabel wanted to keep him over an extra few days, but he wasn’t a pet. He was a wild animal, and he needed to be with his family. The longer he stayed over, the worse it would be for both of them.

Dipper weaved his way into the woods where he knew a part of the Chamel-Leon’s territory was located. After Regulus’ disappearance, going to their nest would probably startle them all too much. Better to find one of their hunters and have them escort Regulus home. Dipper waited silently, sitting on a dead log, brushing his fingers through Regulus’ still growing mane. His heart rate was much slower than last night thankfully. After that whole traumatic experience, the little guy was going to be ok.

Dipper kept his eyes up on the sky, carefully listening to all the sounds of the forest. The woods were never still, and they were never as they seemed. That sound of chirping in the air could be a songbird or a Badger-Jay. It could just be a breeze in the air causing the leaves to rustle, or maybe the tree nymphs were taking part in a waltz. And that sound of a creature padding toward him could be a bear about to eat him, or the Chamel-Leon patrol he was waiting for.

Dipper’s attention turned to the trees around him. The sounds of the creature stopped, but it was hard to make out where the hunter was- if they even were here. But he felt the lump on his lap lurch off. At hearing Regulus’ mewing, Dipper turned his gaze back upwards, just in case he was directly looking at the hunter. Once his eyes were off the forest, he heard the cry of a Chamel-Leoness in return. Zosma he believed. One of the stricter members of the pride. Of all of the Chamel-Leon’s, Dipper thought she’d probably be the first to be growling up a storm and carrying the cub back to camp by the scruff of his neck.

But he only heard the sounds of quiet purring. Regulus’ mews came out like gasps. It almost sounded like a child crying. Dipper sat there, closing his eyes trying to imagine what must be going on between the two of them. Regulus was their youngest- but also a male. The only other one in the pride was his father. Regulus was the future of his pride. Or the one designated to do all the mating and lying around while the huntresses did all the work- perhaps Dipper had watched Lion King one too many times and romanticized his view of the entire matter. Still, the cub had to be an important member of the tribe.

Dipper felt a warm body brush against is ankles. Too big to be Regulus. Zosma was probably the least affectionate of the Gravity Falls Chamel-Leon pride. He probably knew her cry so well because of how often she made herself known whenever he was around. She probably didn’t like the idea of an outsider being so friendly with them all when he could do a lot of damage to them by simply opening his eyes. But even if she may not have seen it for herself, she realized what Dipper had gone through for them.

“You’re welcome…” Dipper whispered.

Although it was hard to communicate with words with these creatures. They didn’t have the same kind of language as humans. Dipper slid off the log he was sitting on, kneeling on the ground so he could be closer to the Chamel-Leons level. They weren’t exactly house cats to cuddle with- despite their size and how much petting both he and Mabel were doing with Regulus. To do so with a senior huntress like Zosma would be an insult. Instead he felt her paws climb up against his chest. The Chamel-Leoness’ forehead met Dipper’s with her fur brushing up against his birthmark. It was hard to ‘observe’ and study a species he couldn’t watch without them freezing up, but Dipper had been able to literally feel his way through a few of their cultural customs. Dipper had reasoned this gesture was one meant to be shared between two warriors, or one of great respect. Coming from Zosma, he knew it meant a lot.

The exchange didn’t last long before the Chamel-Leoness moved off Dipper to turn and take her leave. He felt a small quick lick from what he was sure was Regulus, only to be quickly followed by an angry yowl from Zosma. The little cub darted off, surely following the huntress back into the woods. Dipper sat on the ground, letting the Dipper knew he hadn’t just saved some stray kitty from the shelter. Not everyone could have recognized the problem at hand. Not everyone had the courage to help. Sure, he risked going to jail and being sliced apart by a psychopath, but for this moment it was worth it.

 ---

They say that criminals always returned to the scene of the crime. Well, it wasn’t exactly to enjoy their handiwork. For Dipper, it was that nagging feeling of “I know I left something incriminating behind.” There was an extremely low chance that anyone would find it. But he was already having enough trouble with Bill hunting him down. If he managed to get caught for something as silly as his blood anywhere near the crime scene, he’d never live it down. Being careful after the job was done was part of making sure that it wouldn’t ruin the rest of his life. But it was already starting to consume too many of his thoughts.

Of course, Dipper wasn’t going anywhere near the museum’s front door. Dipper passed it on his way into town- crawling with cops trying to pick up any evidence they could on the theft. They wouldn’t find any fingerprints- Dipper made sure to wear gloves. And Dipper made sure to thoroughly wash and comb out his hair to prevent any dandruff or loose strands fall out in the middle of a job. Dipper knew where all the blind spots were on the cameras and knew he’d stayed in them the entire time. The toys that Dipper used were actually pretty common and could be bought at a Wall-Mart. The only person that had witnessed him was Bill, and if he hadn’t talked last time he probably wouldn’t talk now. Dipper would have had the police knocking on his door if he had. The cops would find nothing above the museum. It was the passageways bellow that Dipper was checking on.

The entranceway behind Greasy’s diner was thankfully unexposed. Dipper had been worried when he realized he hadn’t covered it up again after making his dramatic exit, but luckily Bill seemed to get the picture that the passage way was better left hidden. Dipper glanced at the red blind eye graffiti still on the back of a payphone, marking the location. Frankly, between the secret passageway and the payphone, the latter’s continued existence was the greater anomaly. Still, some things didn’t change. With a quick look around to make sure no one was watching, Dipper slid open the metal plate off the entranceway and descended into the Society of the Blind Eye’s old stomping grounds.

It didn’t matter if it was the middle of the day- this place was still creepy. The lack of daylight ensured that the dimly lit hallways looked the same anyways. The walk was much easier without a tall lanky asshole weighing down on his back too. The more Dipper associated this with just a stroll through the underground passageways like he did when he was first mapping them out in his childhood, the better.

Of course, that was hard to do as Dipper wiped the blood off the ground trying to clear the evidence of his little adventure with Bill. Taking out a zip lock bag, Dipper flipped it inside out, wore it like a glove, and used it to pick up and bag the dagger without touching it. It looked pretty simplistic- probably a generic hunting knife you could pick up just about anywhere. Something Bill probably wouldn’t be too sad to loose, and difficult to trace back to him. Still, Dipper had to at least try and see what he could dig up off of him. Bill already seemed to know enough about him. Maybe if Dipper evened the playing field, he could get the cop to back off without having to resort to the memory gun.

With the majority of the blood wiped off, Dipper took out a can of Pit Cola. Snapping the can open, he took a quick swig of the drink for himself. But it wasn’t just useful for a quick refresher. Pouring the can on where Bill took his little nap, he let the bubbly liquid soak into the stone tiles as well as on the chest that Dipper hit him with. He probably should be concerned that with how good the stuff was at taking care of blood and other unsavory stains, it probably wasn’t the best thing for him. But it was a hard habit to kick.

“Like it never even happened…” Dipper mumbled looking down at the scene. Good luck telling his nightmares that.

Dipper glanced down all the different hallways. Should he check back the way he came last night? Probably would be best. He was this far in already. Dipper took a last sip of the Pit Cola, before crunching it beneath his foot and shoving the crushed aluminum can in his pocket. Just a quick trip and back. Then the Hall of the Forgotten could go back to being just a memory.

And yet as he walked the halls, he began to hear the echo of voices. He was really hoping that was just the cops in the museum talking so loudly that their voices reached down here and not that they truly found a passageway down.

But when Dipper heard the chanting, he discounted that idea. Had the Society of the Blind Eye really still been meeting after all these years?! Were there other members that they hadn’t erased the memories of? They didn’t have the memory gun anymore… unless they had another all this time?! And what were they doing meeting during the day? Dipper had sworn he hadn’t seen any signs of them last time he was here. The closer he got to the Hall of the Forgotten, the less sense the idea that the Society was still active made. He began to hear another voice. Old, hillbilly-like, and a whole bunch of insanity mixed in… that was unmistakably McGucket. But it was who he was when the madness had a deep hold on him- most of that was gone now. Leaving Dipper to one logical conclusion when he creaked open the huge doors to the hall of the forgotten.

“A recording.” Dipper whispered to himself as he saw the machine in the corner of the room displaying what was one of the society’s meetings. Back then, McGucket was probably constantly being picked up to be mind-wiped, long after they’d forgotten he was their founder. This set of memories was hardly the one that McGucket himself kept safe chronicling his decent into madness. But the question was, who was looking at them?

A head snapped up from under a pile of tubes. Bill Cipher- but with a different kind of madness in his eye that Dipper was used to seeing. It wasn’t wild in the sense of not knowing what was going through his head. It was frantic. Panicked. Maybe even… scared?

Bill only had his theories about what this place was when he passed through the previous night. Some kind of cult? Gravity Falls was filled with strange stuff. Probably worshiping or trying to prevent some kind of big bad eyeball? Just his kind of thing that would be interesting to look into! He expected to find out that they’d all been killed trying to summon some kind of demon, and continue on his merry way exploring the underground tunnels that were sure to be useful to get around town. But this room… this was just sick.

So many names both young and old… so many memories… entire lifetimes watered down bit by bit…

 Bill knew he was messed up, but the sheer amount of tubes in this room was jarring. He’d been popping in memories in the background- anything that seemed it could be of interest. He wasn’t aware how much time had passed since he started this morning until the door creaked open. He immediately feared for the worst. That his memories would soon be collecting dust with the rest of them. Hell if he was going to let them.

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE YOU SICK BASTAR-” But his shouts of protests immediately stopped when he realized who was knocking at the door. He almost didn’t recognize him in casual clothes. He began giving out a few chuckles, trying to slip from frantic madman into confident lunatic.

“Ah, Pine Tree. Returning to the scene of the crime?” He began to taunt, trying to pretend like that moment didn’t just happen.

It was odd seeing Bill in ‘civilian clothes’. The light green Gravity Falls police uniform didn’t seem to suit him much and always felt more like he was wearing a Halloween costume. The crisp white dress shirt beneath a yellow sweater vest and black bowtie seemed a bit on the formal side. Yet somehow it seemed to come off as just dorky. He looked like an oddball alright, but it was certainly something you wouldn’t forget. Especially not now with the mark of the blinded eye on his forehead after their encounter from last night. Dipper really hoped that would heal up- mostly because of how much more unsettling Bill looked with it.

Dipper folded his arms, figuring out the situation. It was a fear that he himself first felt when discovering the Society of the Blind Eye. If you were encountering a group of mind erasers, how could you be certain this was really your first time seeing them? Before Dipper had gone exploring the caverns, he first revisited the Hall of the Forgotten. He had to know if there was anything he’d lost. But from the looks of Bill, the fear seemed to have hit the cop much harder.

 “Looking for something?” Dipper asked with a smirk. It felt so good to know something that the one-eyed know it all didn’t for once. He probably didn’t even know that the society was long gone!

Bill shot Dipper a glare before turning back to the stack he was looking at.  “I don’t need your attitude, right now.”

So far, he could see that there was plenty of that Fiddleford McGucket guy… Bill thought he’d been on to something, but most of them were just mad ramblings. There were too many of these tubes to sift through looking for useful information. Most of them seemed to be about monsters or strange creatures the townsfolk had seen. Bill could go around looking for any blackmail worthy secrets as soon as he was sure that his own name wasn’t in the stack.

But Dipper was enjoying this too much. “Come on, you got to admit, it’s funny! So much for knowing ‘lots of things’! Do you even know your real name?” Dipper joked. He may know that the Society was long dead and probably didn’t zap Bill, but it was a nice turn of events to see Bill so frazzled.

“I KNOW WHO I AM!” Bill shouted, loud and angrily even by his standard.

Dipper flinched, not expecting the man to take it that personally. He’d really touched a nerve there. Not that he felt guilty about it- Bill probably deserved much more than that. But Dipper wanted to know why. How much shit was in his past that led him to being the corrupt cop that he was today?

“Then who are you?” Dipper asked softly. He wasn’t expecting much of an answer, but Bill was unraveling. Now was the time to figure out what he could.

Bill looked down at the memory canisters he was frantically looking through. Ha- wasn’t this all so ridiculous. Chances were, he was looking at this all the wrong way. Fine, Pine Tree thought he had answers? Bill would play his game- as long as he got to be the one writing the rules.

“You answer my questions, I’ll answer yours. Deal?” He offered.

Dipper frowned, not sure how much coming out of Bill’s mouth would be truthful. Then again, Dipper wasn’t obligated to answer if he didn’t like the question.

“Depends on how you decide to play this… Let’s start with something easy. What’s your real name?” Dipper asked. He could probably look him up at the police station if he wanted to. But Dipper didn’t want to look too suspicious snooping around. Bill seemed to be new around Gravity Falls- or at least Dipper hadn’t encountered the cop any time past his first encounter with the doll heist. A name might make things easier to look up online.

Bill gave out a chuckle. “I already told you- Bill Cipher.”

Dipper rolled his eyes. “I mean the one on your birth certificate. Or ID- whatever, you know what I mean. Cipher can’t really be your last name. Unless you legally changed it to look cool… did you?”

“That’s another question, but I’ll give you the free-bee anyways. If you’re interested like stupid things on pointless paperwork, I’ll tell you my ‘real name’.” Bill cleared his throat, trying to be as overdramatic as possible as he let the two words escape from his lips.

“William Pines.”

Dipper’s eyes widened. Pines?! What the hell? Was Bill implying that he was some kind of family of his? Some kind of secret brother or cousin?! He already found out he had a secret great uncle. Was there more of a hidden family tree? Oh god, please don’t let him have been a triplet. Wait- but Bill didn’t look anything like the rest of the Pines family. How could he-

“HAHAHA! AHHH! You should see the look on your face! Priceless!” Bill exclaimed wiping a tear from his eye. He really couldn’t keep a straight face for long.

Dipper glared at Bill who was pounding at the wall, filled with laughter. “If you’re not going to answer these questions truthfully, don’t bother asking me any.”

“Awe, come on! Don’t be like that! What’s the fun if we can’t spin the stories however we like them? Not like you were going to take me at face value anyways! See if you can sort the truth from the lies. Go ahead and try it- it’s fun!” Bill smirked as he prepared his question, wondering how much Pine Tree would decide to play along.

“The people that ran this place- What were they all about?” Bill asked starting with what he’d been trying to figure out all afternoon. He got bits and pieces from the recordings. Time to see how good of a liar or swindler Pine Tree was.

Dipper thought it over. What was the kind of answer that Bill deserved… how much did he pick up already that Bill may or not see through? If Bill was going to play the ‘be a jerk and lie for shock value’ game, so could he.

“This is where the Society of the Blind Eye met. A secret society of evil mind erasers. They’d get rid of things they didn’t think people could handle, things they thought were too dangerous for any man to know. This is where they stored the memories of the people in Gravity Falls.” Dipper explained indicating to the stacks of tubes around them. “But they were shut down about 10 years ago… at least, this chapter of the society was. It’s why you can actually have memories of seeing weird things and creatures around Gravity Falls. If you were anywhere else in the world and saw something strange, you wouldn’t remember it.”

If Bill wanted to mess with him though simple shock value, Dipper would lie by hiding in a few truths. Go ahead and let him think that he had his memory wiped at some point- served him right.

Bill considered Dipper’s story, sorting out what he knew was true and false in his head. “Cute story, Pine Tree! You think you can lie! Adorable even!”

 _‘Damn, so much for him being startled’_ Dipper thought to himself. This could just be Bill’s version of a poker face, but so far it seemed like Bill had learned more than he had.

“Fine, round 2 then.” Dipper insisted. “Why did you come to Gravity Falls?”

Bill snorted. “You make this too easy, Pine Tree.” Bill remarked as he kicked a memory tube sending it rolling across the stone tile.

“Maybe I came for the entertainment. Or all the accommodating locals? Or maybe I’ve got something bigger up my sleeve. But really, those were all just a bonus. I just came hoping to check in with a few old friends.”

You’d think with how often Bill gave a creepy grin, Dipper would have gotten used to it or at least have accepted that it’s his default mode. Nope! He continued to find new ways to grin like a psycho and make Dipper question his choice of stepping into the room.

“My turn now! Been into the weird for a while now, huh? Did you figure it out on your own or did you have a little help?”

Dipper had been expecting another question on the Society of the Blind Eye or the town and was surprised as the line of questioning was turned on him personally. How much did Bill already know about him? He knew his name. He knew how long he’d been working on the less savory side of the law. How much more did he know? And how much did Dipper plan on telling him? Dipper had always been into the strange and supernatural. But it was his first summer in Gravity Falls that he really made a big step into that world. Finding the Journal. Was Bill looking for something like that?

“Why does it matter?” Dipper shot back, hoping to avoid explaining his own backstory.

“Answering a question with a question? We didn’t really set out many rules, but that looks like cheating to me!” Bill chuckled.

Dipper rolled his eyes. “Fine, I wandered into the woods and found a magical unicorn that taught me everything I know.”

“Oh come on! Everyone knows that unicorns are the biggest assholes in the supernatural world!” Bill exclaimed. “You got to say something that at least sounds true.”

“For a simple round of questions back and forth, you seem to keep making up rules.” Dipper grumbled.

Bill shrugged. “Gotta keep up, Pine Tree. How about we make it more interesting and-”

“Nope! I’m out!” Dipper exclaimed throwing his arms in the air, turning around not even wanting to hear whatever deal, bet, or trade Bill was offering.

Bill rolled his eye. “Awe, lighten up, Pine Tree! I was just going to suggest we make a drinking game out of it! If one of us catches the other lying, you take a-”

“I’m not playing a drinking game with you!” Dipper exclaimed firmly. Besides, who knew what Bill might slip into his drink while he wasn’t looking?

“Lightweight.” Bill sneered. “Fine. Just give me something that doesn’t sound completely made up.”

Dipper sighed, turning back. He still didn’t have much of anything, so he might as well still play along. “Alright. When I was a kid, I found a spooky old book with some info that turned out to be true. It got me started on my own investigations. That enough for you?” Dipper offered. It was vague enough that he doubted Bill would get much from it.

“Interesting… I’m going to take a wild guess that this book happened to have a gold-ish 6-fingered hand on the cover?” Bill proposed.

Dipper bit his tongue trying not to let the first reaction of ‘How did you know’ slip from his lips. But it was already written all over his face.

“Ah, see you don’t want to waste your question! Come on, aren’t you curious? Maybe I’ve got a couple of volumes up my sleeve! We could get together and have a book club!” Bill offered.

“Yeah right.” Dipper scoffed. But then an idea came to mind. “I bet you don’t even really know anything about them or the Author.”

Frankly, Dipper didn’t know much about the man either. The name Stanford Pines still left a few bad memories for Dipper. At first he thought it was the name of his Grunkle Stan. But then it just became what landed his beloved Grunkle in jail for identity theft. Of all the things Stan did, it seemed like a stupid thing to get caught over, and it hadn’t even put him in jail for too long. Just when Dipper and Mabel needed him most. Dipper had been angry and bitter about the secrets. But being without the old man was worse. The twins knew Stan loved them more than anything, and gave everything he had to keep them safe and cared for. Part of that meant taking on a name that wouldn’t land him in prison again. Ironic, yet still giving him less jail time for his actual crimes. The law in Gravity Falls was weird. Stanford Pines. Dipper never wanted to hear the name that caused that mess again. It wasn’t until later that Dipper actually met the real barer of that name. Dipper always wanted to find the Author of the Journals. Actually meeting him… well, it was complicated.

Bill knew Dipper was trying to get a rise out of him and question his range of knowledge. But it still ticked him off. “I bet I know more about him then you do. Just because you share a last name with Sixer, doesn’t mean you’re exactly best buds. Family is a tricky topic with him, isn’t it?” Bill retorted.

Dipper shifted his hands behind his back. So Bill did know about Ford then. Although it was hard to imagine the man was famous. He didn’t exactly publish his work. But perhaps he was well known in the supernatural community outside of Gravity Falls? Dipper unfortunately couldn’t say. But he certainly couldn’t discount the idea of him writing other Journals or information that Bill may have found. But how he phrased it. ‘Family is a tricky topic’. And Sixer- was that a nickname or an insult? Overall, it sounded more like he’d actually spoken with him.

“So… do you know him then?” Dipper asked.

“Depends- is that your next question?”

Dipper thought it over. What Bill knew about Ford was intriguing. Maybe that was the link that brought him to Gravity Falls in the first place. Was Bill searching for the Journals? For Stanford? Asking these questions was just as annoying as figuring out an answer for them.

“What’s your connection to Stanford Pines?”

There was the simple answer, and there was the long answer. “In a word- Complicated. He’s not exactly my biggest fan right now.”

“Gee- what a shocker.” Dipper said rolling his eyes. “Want to share anything that’s not obvious then?”

Bill humped. “Hey! It’s not like he’s just any sucker I’ve pulled one over! When I say it’s complicated, I don’t mean the guy hates me like everyone else… well, he probably hates me more than anyone else, but not for the usual stupid reasons!” Bill insisted.

Dipper found it hard to believe that it was much more complicated that Bill was more than an asshole or jerk that pulled something and Ford was right in hating him- or whatever their relationship was like.

“Don’t believe me? Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

Dipper scoffed annoyed. “Yeah, I’ll just give him a call. Because he’s so easy to reach and just have a chat with.” Dipper remarked.

With how much Ford wandered around the world, by the time you found out one place he was staying, he was already in a completely different country. No regular cell phone line to contact him, and definitely no means to have a nice chat over someone that he probably didn’t have the most pleasant run in with.

Bill shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll be seeing him soon.” From the tone of his voice, it seemed like he was counting on it.

“Last question!” Bill declared ready to wrap up their game. Not a very long one, it was the third question and three was Bill’s lucky number. “What do you know about the ‘Beast With One Eye’.”

Dipper had heard the phrase somewhere before. He’d even seen a few depictions of it too. But what did it have to do with Bill? Besides the obvious similarity. “You mean besides the one in front of me?”

“Ha ha- very funny Pine Tree. How many brain cells did it take to come up with that one?” Bill sarcastically remarked. “The Beast With Just One Eye. The Eye of Providence. The Triangle Guy. What do you know?” He insisted being strict and to the point.

Dipper honestly didn’t know much. It seemed more of a legend than anything. But why was Bill interested?

“A lot of mixed messages really. Some say he’s a being with answers, there’s a few idols or depictions of the thing being worshiped. But there’s just as many things painting him as a destructive force- a lot of fire imagery. I’d honestly say it’s just a myth or if it wasn’t for all the other things that turned out to be true in Gravity Falls.”

The biggest sign had to be the cave painting. The supposed Beast With One Eye was a mystery Ford never solved. He thought he’d found an incantation to summon the thing, but nothing happened. So much for it having answers. He assumed it was just long dead. Dipper even tried out the incantation himself once on a dare. But nothing. No all-knowing being, no cryptic riddles, not even a single nightmare. Nothing. Yet it still seemed to hold value to Bill.

“Huh… that sounds about right.” Bill admitted. He doubted Pine Tree would give him any specifics on the location of those idols or depictions, but it was enough to know that they were indeed in Gravity Falls. He was on the right track.

Bill gave one last look at the piles of memory canisters before heading for the door. He wouldn’t find what he was looking for here.

“Is that really it?” Dipper wondered. He still wasn’t even sure what to make of this whole encounter. All they did was talk. Sure, it was a relief not to have that constant fear of if he was going to make it out of the conversations without being in Bill’s handcuffs, but the usual question still remained. What was going through Bill’s head?

Bill gave a shrug. “I got enough to work off of for now. Unless you want to show me around town.” Bill admitted with a smirk.

“As fun as that sounds, I’m having a hard time thinking of something I rather do less.” Dipper admitted bitterly.

“Awe, you’re just not thinking creatively! Getting your organs burned out one by one as you get munched on by a giant living wood chipper! Jogging up an endless staircase while hearing the blood curdling screams of everyone you know and love up at the top! Your life only consisting of a series of short 22-minute segments made for the entertainment of beings that can end your existence if they just get bored enough! I bet a night out on the town with me wouldn’t seem too bad after that!”

Dipper wasn’t sure if those were meant to be threats, or if Bill was just saying things for shock value again. “There’s only so much of you I can take in one sitting.” Dipper said rubbing his forehead.

“Well, you better get used to it. I’m not going anywhere any time soon.” Bill said as he gazed upon the giant door with the blinded eye.

Bill’s black gloved hand brushed over the surface of the symbol. This whole society seemed so pathetic. If you couldn’t solve or live with your problems, they decided it would be better to forget about them altogether. Didn’t like something about your life? Forget about it. Maybe it would be easier. But to do so would just mean clinging to a fantasy and throwing away the future.

“I’ve got big plans… Whether you’re still alive to see them is up to you. Or just go ahead and zap yourself silly and forget all about me. If you do, I won’t get in your way anymore. You can have all the peaceful nights of sleep you want.” And Bill meant it. He’d already gotten more than he hoped for out of the Pines brat. If Dipper wanted to take the easy way out, then he wasn’t even worth his time. Let him live his life blind.

Dipper didn’t even consider the prospect. “Yeah right- even if you did keep your end, who would be there to get in your way?”

Bill let out a chuckle. “There’s no stopping it. Events have already been set into motion. A pointless prophecy here, an ultimate power bubbling over there- you don’t even realize how tiny you are in the middle of all of this. Time moves on no matter what decaying skin puppet thinks they can stand in its way.”

The way Bill talked like he was better than everyone seemed like more than just overconfidence. It was like he wasn’t even human.

“Who… or what even are you?”

And there it was. The real question that Dipper should have asked a while ago. Even if their game was over, Bill couldn’t help giving him an answer.

“I’m the guy that’s going to stop time, defy destiny and break all the rules. You think you can stop me? It’ll be fun watching you try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit less action packed than the other two chapters, but I wanted to give Dipper some breathing space as well as set a few things up for this AU. This Bill is a slightly different than the one in canon (Besides the obvious human appearance) so I invite you to start trying to figure out his altered past along with Dipper!


	4. PostCodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of these days, Dipper would crumble up the postcard and refuse to go along with Stanford's games. But this had been the first word he got from him in 2 years. It had to be something important. Still… if the man wanted to send him a message, would a phone call or email really hurt? He was supposed to be his great uncle. Would it kill him to involve him without all the secrets and mysteries in the way?
> 
> …But who was he kidding. Dipper couldn't resist a well-well-made code or the promise of some kind of treasure hunt or new knowledge. It was a mystery to be solved, and he just had to crack it.

A postcard. It had been 2 years since he had last seen the man, and without even a means to send word back to him, and yet still all he got were these postcards. The person that had inspired Dipper to take his next step into the supernatural. The man who first sought out all the secrets of Gravity Falls. The biggest mystery of Dipper's first summer in Gravity Falls. The Author of the Journals. Stanford Pines. Dipper wasn't sure what to expect from discovering his identity. Part of him assumed the man must be dead from how the journals abruptly cut off. But he came back to Gravity Falls. And he was everything Dipper had dreamed of. He was the most intelligent man he'd ever met with 12 PHD's and had written more than just the 3 Journals Dipper had discovered. He was a hero that would face any giant fire breathing monster with a grin on his face, already writing up his discoveries before the battle was over. He was the person Dipper wanted to be. And the craziest thing of all was that he was family.

And then just as quickly as he entered his life, he left it again.

Dipper's feelings toward the man were still mixed to say the least. Dipper had been worried about what the man had got involved in or if he was even still alive, and yet all he got was a touristy looking post card. The glossy image was a generic "Wish you were here" with the picture of a New York skyline. So he was at the very least back in America. Or it could just as easily only be where he had been weeks ago, or just another part of a code. Dipper wished that his great uncle was enjoying the big city and this wasn't some cryptic message he left behind. But why should things change now? Sure enough, turning it to the back, there wasn't some heart felt message or tales of travels, but a jumbled up series of numbers, letters and symbols that looked like a cross between Japanese Kanji and Egyptian hieroglyphics. As if Dipper expected anything so straight forward from Stanford Pines.

One of these days, Dipper would crumble up the postcard and refuse to go along with Stanford's games. But this had been the first word he got from him in 2 years. It had to be something important. Still… if the man wanted to send him a message, would a phone call or email really hurt? He was supposed to be his great uncle. Would it kill him to involve him without all the secrets and mysteries in the way?

…But who was he kidding. Dipper couldn't resist a well-well-made code or the promise of some kind of treasure hunt or new knowledge. It was a mystery to be solved, and he just had to crack it.

The Mystery Shack had quite a few secret rooms. One of which Dipper turned into his own personal study. Dipper pulled a few different language dictionaries off one of this bookshelves- the Japanese and Egyptian were obvious, but he also knew that Latin and Greek were popular ones to shift into. Moving a few books off the shelf, Dipper shifted a few notches on the back of the bookshelf in to place, allowing a secret compartment to click open. The bookshelf was hand carved from a strong oak- a gift from Wendy to keep his mysteries in line, and hide a few of his own. She, Mabel and he were the only ones that knew about this secret compartment. And it was where he kept hidden one of his more valuable books- Journal 3.

Dipper had read the Journal cover to cover multiple times over, discovered his own facts about the monsters described in the pages and even made annotations and amendments to it over many years. But there were still a few things he found helpful to refer to. Dipper had written up his own key to the "Author's Cipher" as he called it in one of the previously blank pages in the Journal.

There was so much more about Gravity Falls that could hardly be contained in just 3 Journals. But looking over the old book filled Dipper with nostalgia. He knew just about every word by heart. He could re-sketch most illustrations from memory. Honestly, he might not have even needed the physical book to crack the code. But that sense of familiarity flipping through the pages was comforting to set the mood.

The other "PostCodes" from Ford were hung up on his walls. Although on the code side, they looked more like mad scribblings. The red neat decorative handwriting was covered in Dipper's blue scribbles solving their intricate code. Honestly, while he was worried about what the heck this newest message was and wished word came more often with more clarity, he did still get that surge of joy from trying to crack a new mystery. And it wasn't all just to get some vague cryptic message or bit of info that meant nothing. A lot of times the code resulted in coordinates in which Ford would leave a more detailed account of his most recent adventures, a mystical artifact that either acted as a souvenir for Dipper or something that needed to be disposed of with some kind of ancient spell that Ford left in one of his older Journals. Probably Dipper's favorite find was a brand new Journal that Ford wrote up detailing creatures and findings he found all around the world- not just within Gravity Falls. It filled Dipper's heart with longing to explore the world for adventure, mysteries, and the unending journey into the unknown.

But Dipper had made his choice long ago. He wanted to grow up with Mabel. He picked his family. And he hoped that maybe Ford would choose the same. But he chose his mysteries. Dipper wondered if it was guilt keeping himself from doing the same. Each of these Post Codes only wet his appetite to see more of the world. Dipper knew Mabel would never stand in his way or keep him back from something he wanted to do. But now more than ever, he was needed here in Gravity Falls. Even after everything Ford had seen, he could still confirm that Gravity Falls was the densest spot of supernatural activity on Earth. And with how relations between humans and monsters bubbled, Dipper needed to stay for the sanity of both worlds. But that didn't mean he couldn't take a trip every now and then. And these PostCodes usually led to a nice little adventure away from home.

Still, this time was different. He'd never had such a long gap between word from Ford and his messages. He knew he was still alive, but if something finally got him to make contact again, it had to be important. The sooner he cracked this code, the sooner he could figure out what was going on with him.

"Dipper! Where are you?!" Mabel's voice called out throughout the old Shack. "I got everyone's weekly shipments, and I'm not making the delivery to the Manitaurs again until they agree to a shower!"

Dipper looked at the old clock on the night stand. He'd been at this for a few hours now. He was making good progress and could use a break. Besides, he needed to fill Mabel in.

"In the Mystery room!" Dipper called out.

The small hidden room had gone through multiple transformations. When they first discovered it, it became Soos' break room. Then its walls became a mural to figuring out the Author of the journals. And when they actually found said Author, this is where he slept. Although that scenario was extremely rare- both because of the lack of sleeping Ford seemed to do as well as the fact that Dipper could count the amount of times he'd actually stayed here on one hand. Most of the time now a days, it was where Dipper went to tackle his biggest mysteries. And in hearing that Dipper was here, Mabel rushed to figure out what it could be.

"You found another heist already?! It's only been a week since the last one!" Mabel wondered with a mix of excitement and panic. She knew how risky these jobs were and really didn't like her brother sticking her neck out like this. Maybe it was just the fun of calling something a heist, but she couldn't help but get excited when they planned something out.

"No!" Dipper immediately denied. He really hated that this was starting to become a regular thing.

Dipper moved the PostCode out from all the scrap paper and reference books for Mabel to see. "Something from Ford!"

Mabel grinned ear to ear at the sight of it. These things may look like gibberish to her, but any sign that her grunkle Ford was still alive and well was a welcome one. "He's ok then!?"

Dipper shrugged. "I guess… no idea exactly what it is."

Then the sickening idea that this was maybe something all set up by Bill came to mind. He had mentioned that he might be seeing him soon. What if this was just some joke of his to get him isolated or just have a good laugh at him? Did he just know about him and Stanford's postcards and decided to throw a dud in the mix?

Mabel took the PostCode out of Dipper's hand to compare it to the other cards he'd sent in the past hung up on the wall. "Well, it looks like his handwriting alright… What do you think it might be for?"

Dipper sighed shaking his head. "Your guess is as good as mine. Can't just be another invitation to a Mothra migration."

"But that one was so cool!" Mabel exclaimed giddy to find out what it could be. Just because her brother was the one with the head for cracking these codes didn't mean she wouldn't stand by him once he solved it. But she knew just as well as he did that after the last time they saw Stanford, those fun little presents from their grunkle were over. 2 years and no word until now. This code wasn't just a puzzle. Mabel wanted to believe it was Stanford finally reaching out to them.

At first the twins were excited that Ford had returned to Gravity Falls. But he was sleeping less than usual. Worrying more than ever. His mantra of 'Trust no one' seemed to be written all over him. He didn't let anyone in his room, but from the kind of materials he was bringing into the Shack, it seemed like he was making some kind of weapon. Something had him spooked. That look in his eyes… whatever it was that had caused it, the thing had to be worse than anything either of them had encountered. They tried to ask what had happened or what he'd found, but he never gave them the exact details of what was going on. Dipper had never seen any monster have that kind of effect on his great uncle. Fear had never even been a word he could use to describe Stanford. Yet here he was.

The worst of it was when Ford came to dinner with his hair shaved off and bandages on the back of his head. He hadn't seemed to have gone to any sort of hospital, but he certainly looked like he'd been fresh out of a surgery. But Ford only claimed it was necessary precautions. There were plenty of loud 'private' conversations between him and Stan after that. None of them wanted Ford to face this alone. But his returning to Gravity Falls wasn't about reconnecting with his family. It seemed more like he was preparing himself for a war. And whatever it was, Dipper wanted to fight beside him.

Stanford had always left his apprenticeship offer open. It hadn't taken long after they first met for him to extend the offer to a promising young man interested in the supernatural like Dipper. And while Dipper didn't want to leave Gravity Falls, he could see that Ford needed him. That look in his eyes was screaming to Dipper that he didn't just need someone capable of handling the odd and strange things in the world, but he needed someone he could trust. He needed someone at his side. But oddly enough, this time it was Stanford that refused.

"It's too dangerous Dipper… you don't know what he's capable of. It would be better if I went at this alone. I can't risk your life like that."

Dipper wanted to argue more that he wasn't a child and that had seen things as well. But he couldn't deny that Ford had seen more. Something that had him scared… Dipper couldn't even imagine what it could be. Dipper respected Ford's judgement, but he continued to insist he needed someone by his side. Whether it was him, Stan, or just a friend. That was, up until the day he left town, worried that he'd be found again.

None of the Pines family were comfortable with Ford leaving like that. Especially not his brother. Stan immediately went after him, knowing that Ford was neck deep in something he clearly couldn't handle alone. But tracking Ford was no easy task. Maybe if he was using conventional means of travel, Stan could have found him in a week. But tracking down travel by Pegasi or Bubble Beast? It was not his forte. At least Stan stayed in contact with the twins giving them regular calls and came back to Gravity Falls for holidays. But Dipper insisted that if Ford was using the supernatural to throw his brother off his trail, Stan would need his help. But Stan didn't want to get either of the twins involved in this. Dipper was ready to travel half way across the world to help find Ford. That was… until things started getting complicated with Mabel's condition. One thing led to another, and suddenly he was Gravity Falls' newest secret cat burglar.

"This just has to be him finally saying he wants our help!" Mabel exclaimed.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that… he still put it in code after all." Dipper pointed out.

Mabel shrugged. "Tradition?" She guessed.

Dipper shook his head. Most of the time it was just about giving him a fun puzzle to solve. But to revert to that after all this time. "I don't think so. If anything the code is a bit harder than usual. Like he's actually trying to hide something."

The codes were never easy. But with each one solved, Dipper got faster and more skilled. He hadn't solved one like this in a while, but theoretically it shouldn't take too long to solve. But now more than ever he needed to find out what the answer was if Ford really was in trouble.

Mabel raised her hand to her forehead in a salute. "Just tell me what I can do!"

Normally Dipper liked to solve it on his own for the fun of it, but they might need to figure this one out quick. While Mabel wasn't an expert code breaker like him, she did know some of the basics and could speed things along for him. He had managed to get everything into the English alphabet now. Maybe there was still something she could do. Copying what he had so far onto another sheet of paper, he handed it to Mabel.

"Run this through a Vignette cipher with the keyword 'Wish You Were Here'. Or maybe shift the alphabet by 15 letters. Even if it comes out as gibberish, keep it written down- it might need to be put through multiple ciphers." Dipper suggested.

"On it, bro-bro!" Mabel reported taking the code and pulling out several glittery pens from her sweater.

With the both of them working, hopefully they'd be able to get this done in record time.

It was about 4 AM when Dipper finally managed to get a clear message. His workspace was lined with different ciphers and alphabets that he'd been putting the code through. Even more difficult when considering he probably weaved it through multiple codes. It probably would have taken him much longer if it weren't for Mabel. She'd clocked out on the couch about two hours ago. She could handle all-nighters of partying, but staring at codes for hours on end easily put her to sleep. Still, she made sure they got fed and handled the busy work of all the code breaking. The last code from Ford years ago took him a week to solve. With Mabel's help, his added experience, and the urgency of the situation, he managed to do it in less than 18 hours.

"Got it! 412 Gopher Road- Wait, that's actually in Gravity Falls?!" Dipper wondered out loud. Normally he'd have to fly half way across the world or to some location that Ford had been to get to the coordinates of the code. A few favors with the fairy folk helped him keep his frequent flyer miles down, but it still was never this close. And it was the next part that was even more shocking. A date and time.

Mabel began to stir awake at Dipper's declaration "You got it then?" Mabel mumbled still half asleep as she let out a yawn.

"I think so… Its tomorrow night… Or tonight I guess." Dipper explained. He double checked his work, but you'd usually get nonsense if something in the code went wrong.

Mabel rubbed her eyes. "See, I knew putting the syrup on the potted plant would get you to the declaration of independence." She mumbled.

Clearly, Mabel was still out of it. But Dipper was still running on the adrenaline from trying to solve a mystery. For something so specific at that date and time, it had to mean either there would be some kind of supernatural phenomenon going on at that date and time that he wanted him to witness, or it was an actual meeting time.

Dipper kept telling himself not to get his hopes up. That Ford wasn't exactly the type to ask for help. Chances were, he was just leaving some information behind or something to keep them safe. Either way, he'd find out soon. Dipper sighed and pinned the solved code up on the wall.

"Go back to sleep, Mabel." Dipper settled on.

"Only if you do too…" Mabel whispered quietly back as she lifted up her head, but promptly curled up against the couch cushions again.

Dipper nodded, getting up out of his chair, only to stumble to the ground from his muscles being stiff for the last few hours. Nope! Way too tired to even get up off the ground.

Dipper managed to crawl closer to the couch. At least the shag rug at its feet was comfy. Probably should have rolled the old thing up, but it did make for a nice makeshift bed in times like these. Eh, as long as Mabel didn't roll over in the night, they shouldn't wake up in each other's bodies. Pulling a spare couch cushion out from under Mabel, Dipper tucked it under his head. Whatever he faced tomorrow, he'd need to come prepared. But for now, he needed to try and squeeze in a few extra hours of sleep in.

* * *

 Dipper wasn't sure how prepared he was supposed to be for this. Should he be ready for some kind of monster hunt? He had the basic flashlight, rope, flares, netting, holy water, salt, silver mirror, iron crowbar and various other things for dealing with the usual creatures. But would it be enough for whatever thing was chasing Ford? Although most monsters had different weaknesses, he covered a lot of the common ones. Not that the 'hunt' part of monster hunt really involved killing the creature in question. More of subduing them long enough so they could run for their lives. That part seemed to happen a lot more often than he'd like on any of his adventures.

"Don't worry, you've got this!" Mabel's voice reassured him on an earpiece. They had a radio system set up for monster hunts when they got separated. Dipper had tried to avoid using it with Mabel when he was on his heists trying to keep her out of that business as much as possible. But this was important family matters. There was no way he was going in on this alone. Mabel could scout ahead, and if either of them got caught by something, the other could bail them out with the added element of surprise.

Dipper looked around for any signs of Ford or someone involved with him. If there was anything he could do for Ford, Mabel and him would be there in a heartbeat. Dipper wasn't sure what business Ford had in the abandoned warehouse on 412 Gopher Road. Perhaps it was a location big enough to contain a creature that Ford had detained? Dipper didn't see a rental car or anything near the place as he pulled up on his bike. Either Ford wasn't here yet, or he was too paranoid to even get himself a car. Or Dipper had missed him entirely, and he was only walking toward another clue.

Dipper stood with his flashlight at the rusty door, trying to find a way in as the emotions inside him boiled. He was excited to learn what all of this could be and get to another mystery. He was angry at Stanford for not letting any of his family in. He was worried sick about what he could have gotten himself involved in. But when he felt the hand on his shoulder, that all shifted to fear. Dipper jumped a few inches into the air, dropping his flashlight, ready to go into fight or flight mode.

"Dipper, it's me. Ford." A deep booming voice reassured him.

Turning around, Dipper confirmed that the person did indeed seem to be Stanford Pines. Or the shapeshifter had gotten loose again, but he was really hoping it was Ford! Letting his heartbeat go down a few pegs, Dipper wrapped his arms around his great uncle.

"You really are ok!" Dipper exclaimed. He knew the fact that he got the post card, and that Stan had been continuing to find his brother's tracks, but seeing him in person was still incredibly reassuring.

Stanford was caught a little off guard from the hug, but he couldn't stop a small smile from creeping up his face. "You never had anything to worry about… I told you that I'd handle it on my own."

Dipper shook his head. If anything, all his 'warnings' only made them all more concerned about him. "That's just what family does… you should have let us help you much sooner."

Stanford sighed and shook his head. He wished they didn't have to meet under these circumstances "I'm afraid it's not that simple, Dipper… I wouldn't have even contacted you if you weren't directly involved."

Dipper had assumed he just meant about whatever he was chasing (Or was after him) had lead him to Gravity Falls. But the sound of police sirens behind him caused Dipper to tense up.

"Ah, perfect timing." Stanford said turning away from his nephew to see the cop cars pull up. "I'm glad you decided to come alone. It makes things much less complicated that way."

Dipper was in no position to correct him as five police cars pulled up. In other words, just about the entire Gravity Falls police force. Either there were free donuts involved, or he was in serious trouble. Blubs and Durland were the first out of their car, Dipper's eyes were on a car in the back. Bill's grin was as creepy as ever as he stepped out with the orange light of the sunset reflecting off his eyes.

"Well, well well… isn't it nice to see you again?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the timing on this one! I've been in between Dippica week and various family things! Please leave comments on your thoughts or questions you have so far! It helps keep me excited about writing the next chapter!


	5. Death Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stanford Pines. Well, well well… Quite the shocker to see you around these parts. So nice to get your call. I almost thought you’d forgotten all about me!” Bill teased as he strutted up toward the elder Pines.
> 
> The rest of the officers gave Bill funny looks as he approached the silver haired gentleman. When you were the oddball in an office that included officers that regularly tested police equipment to see how buzzed you could be on the inside and out as well as having a police Instagram where they showed off pictures of crime scenes before even the press got them, you knew you were certainly the strangest of the strange. And it was a title Bill held proudly.
> 
> Bill reached out to adjust Stanford’s trench coat, but the man pushed him back before he could get too close.
> 
> “I wish I could forget about you, William. But you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to remain ancient history.” Ford spat out with bitterness in his voice. He'd never forget what Bill had done. What he had done. And he'd go to the ends of the Earth to correct his mistake.

Gravity Falls had been Dipper’s home the moment he stepped off that bus for his first summer in that sleepy town in Road Kill County, Oregon. The town made itself clear that it was unkind to strangers and would literally eat them alive, but Dipper was no stranger. He’d always loved the strange and supernatural. It felt like a part of his blood. For a kid that had once spent most of his days in his room glued to a book or game console, he found he had a much easier time falling asleep under the stars than he thought he ever could outdoors.

Even when Dipper began his supposed “life of crime”, he never felt truly worried about what would happen to him. Sure, the fears would flash in his mind during the actual job, but his friends and family assured he’d never be left alone. The Manitaurs promised to punch the throats of any foes that dared bind him. Stan always bragged that he had his Columbian buddies on speed dial in case they needed to plan another break out. And Mabel always did whatever she could to be right there next to him, even if she couldn’t physically be there. He felt safe in Gravity Falls not despite the monsters and things that went bump in the night, but because of them. They’d all gone through rough tides together, and it had forged a bond between man and monster.

Yet somehow whenever Bill showed his face, it felt like the town was closing in on him. The man reminded him that there was still so much he didn’t know. He made him feel like he was still a twelve year old boy that could get swallowed up by the trees all over again from one wrong step. That it didn’t matter who he thought was around him, that he was truly alone. That there was no one he could trust. He was only getting radio silence from Mabel, and the Great Uncle he thought he was reuniting with after all this time seemed to be the one turning him in. The look in Bill’s eye as he approached made Dipper feel like he was dealing with a power greater than he could ever hope to live to face.

…And yet it wasn’t directed at him.

“Stanford Pines. Well, well well… Quite the shocker to see you around these parts. So nice to get your call. I almost thought you’d forgotten all about me!” Bill teased as he strutted up toward the elder Pines.

The rest of the officers gave Bill funny looks as he approached the silver haired gentleman. When you were the oddball in an office that included officers that regularly tested police equipment to see how buzzed you could be on the inside and out as well as having a police Instagram where they showed off pictures of crime scenes before even the press got them, you knew you were certainly the strangest of the strange. And it was a title Bill held proudly. In a town where they got calls about anything from giant bats to peoples' cheese coming to life and eating rats in the night, being able to surprise them was a much more satisfying badge of honor than the piece of tin he wore on his uniform.

Bill reached out to adjust Stanford’s trench coat, but the man pushed him back before he could get too close.

“I wish I could forget about you, William. But you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to remain ancient history.” Ford spat out with bitterness in his voice. He'd never forget what Bill had done. What he had done. And he'd go to the ends of the Earth to correct his mistake.

Bill let out a chuckle. “Awe, Fordsy- why you got to be so formal? I’ve told you before. Call me Bill!”

With a quick motion, he went to flick Ford’s big red nose. It earned him a literal slap on the wrist, which Bill only seemed to laugh off.

“Tisk, Tisk. I thought you were smarter than that, Poindexter. I can totally nail you for assaulting an officer for that.” Bill insisted waving his hand.

Ford rolled his eyes. “You provoked it. Besides- You know very well I didn’t call you here for any games.”

Dipper gulped as he found a six fingered hand placed on his shoulder. He still had no idea what game either Bill or Ford were playing. But both of their attention was now aimed on him.

“We’re settling this tonight.” Stanford insisted. “The abnormal activity in the area, even more so than usual for Gravity Falls. I can’t let it continue. No matter what the source.”

“Great Uncle Ford…” Dipper began, although he wasn’t even sure how to begin explaining it. All of Dipper’s close friends and family knew about his activities. And perhaps if Ford had come to him first, he would have explained it to him too. Not everything in Gravity Falls needed to be contained. Some of it needed to be protected.

But Ford shook his head. “I wish I was able to be here sooner… but I had to be sure. I had to collect the evidence for myself.”

Dipper could sense the hostility coming off of Ford. He found it hard to catch his own breath. If he did leave a trail behind on any of the crime scenes, this was the man that would ensure the police had all the hard evidence they needed. Had Ford been watching and tailing him for a while now? He was supposed to be family. Why didn’t he just confront him with it first?

But with Dipper’s anxiety, a twinge of guilt came over Ford. “I’m sorry it had to come to this. I didn’t want to bring the fight here.” But his gaze turned from Dipper to Bill. “But he’s the one that started it.”

Bill crossed his arms. Of course he expected as much. “Really? ‘He’s the one that started it.’” Bill said doing a grumpy low impression of Ford that sounded more like Stan coming from his off-putting voice. “Who’s the child now, Sixer?”

“Cut the games! I know what events you’ve set into motion! And I won’t let you play your games! Especially not here!” Stanford yelled out extending a finger at Bill.

 

Dipper’s gaze shifted between the two of them, finally releasing the breath he was holding onto. They certainly seemed to be sizing each other up from the beginning. Was the focus here really not on him then?

“So… why exactly did you call everyone here then?” Dipper asked his great uncle skeptically. He tried to let his heart rate decrease, but he knew he wasn’t out of hot water just yet. Whatever was happening here had to be serious.

“I’d like to know what all this hullabaloo is about too.” A voice spoke up from behind. Sheriff Blubs stepped forward, scratching his head perplexed.

“We got a call in about a potential burglary? And yet you go around finger pointing?” Blubs asked confused.

“Yeah!” A young voice that seemed like it came from a rookie. But Deputy Durland would simply eternally appear to just be that green to the job. “No matter how weird Pines is, that doesn’t give you any right to go picking on him!”

“Uh… I’m not that weird.” Dipper admitted in his defense. Or at least, not compared to the rest of the things in this town.

The deputy shook his head. “No, not you. The other Pines…”

“Me?” Ford questioned, confused how it made sense in the context of the sentence. Then again, the young man did seemed to not be all there.

Sheriff Blubs chuckled. “Huh, I guess there are a lot of Pines out tonight. Some kind of family reunion of yours, Officer Pines?” He said patting Bill on the back.

“WHAT?!” Dipper exclaimed, praying this was some sort of elaborate joke.

“You kept my name?!” Stanford shouted out with a mix of rage and confusion.

Bill let out a chuckle, enjoying seeing Dipper’s reaction so much more the second time. And Fordsy’s outburst was just icing on the cake as well.

“Why not? Lot of useful benefits! Citizenship, insurance, and man do you have a great credit score state side, Sixer! I owe my sweet set of wheels to you!” Bill exclaimed as he put his arm around Ford. The man tried to shrug him off, feeling extremely uncomfortable with his constant attempts at contact.

Meanwhile Blubs punched the air. “Ha! Knew it! Pay up!” Blubs declared as he collected a twenty dollar bill from one of the officers in the back for his little office bet.

“Darn… I was so close…” Durland mumbled disappointed.

Blubs shook his head. “Awe, don’t worry about it too much. You were just a bit too specific. You just got to play it simple- ‘Older men’, and now I’m $20 richer! A bearded brunet body builder with tattoos and an eye condition is a good guess and all, but you got to go with what’s most likely to be true, not what you want to be.”

“But they would look so perfect together…” Durland admitted sadly.

Blubs put his hand on Durland’s chest. “You romantic you…” Blubs turned to Bill. “Pines! You really should take his suggestion! Durland is a wonderful matchmaker.”

Bill groaned at all this talk of office bets. Especially when none of them knew the full story. “If I need a hook up from hell, I’ve already got enough screw balls on the list.”

Dipper was still shell shock as he glanced between his Great Uncle and Bill. “What… What happened between you two?!” He wondered wanting to pull his hair out here and now.

“That’s not important right now.” Ford grumbled trying to shove Bill off him once again. “What is important is what Bill has been doing in Gravity Falls this past few months.”

Bill let go of Ford and shrugged. “What? I’m just earning an honest living! More than I can say for the rest of _our_ family…”

Dipper stumbled uncomfortably. Did he really have to bring that up just to get back at Ford? But Ford seemed way too irritated at Bill to consider what he really meant.

“Don’t you talk about Stanley like that! And it’s not _our_ family! After what you did, I thought you proudly bore the name _Cipher_.” Ford spat out like it was a curse word.

Bill only shrugged. “Different names for different occasions… Believe me, Cipher’s definitely the most fitting one, but Pines? There’s still a certain sweetness to it. Remember when I was your little Billy Pines-”

The cracking of bones that pierced the air managed to shut Bill up for once. Ford’s fist swiftly connected with the smug cop’s nose, leaving a trickle of blood over his knuckles. If there was one good thing that came out of his father’s mandatory boxing lessons, it was that Ford still remembered how to throw a mean left hook.

“Don’t… you… EVER use that name again.” Ford panted.

Dipper gulped, never having seen his Great Uncle so stirred up before. No wonder Bill seemed to be good at messing with him. It seems like he had a lot of practice with Ford. Yet the punch did seem to shake up Bill as well, and not for the physical blow dealt either.

“Yeah… I get the message.” Bill mumbled quietly as he wiped the blood off his face. So Sixer was really still set in stone on that matter, huh? Bill turned to his fellow officers. He didn’t want to pull this card, but Ford was really testing him now. “Alright, a broken nose counts as assaulting an officer, right?”

One of the officers behind him nodded. “Definitely a few years of jail time.” The one that paid up the bet replied. The rest of them were enjoying the drama too much.

Bill wiped the small amount of blood on his hands off on his pants and looked toward Stanford with a glare. “So, tell me Sixer- you didn’t call us all up because you wanted to see the inside Gravity Falls Maximum Security Prison for yourself. Potential burglary? You wouldn’t have gotten half as many cops here if it weren’t for the promise of free donuts. You knew where I was, and you wanted me here. State the rules of your little game, IQ so I can turn them on its head.”

Ford took an old fashion handkerchief out of one of his trench coat pockets to wipe the blood off his knuckles. Jail time or not, it was worth it. Bill loved trashing every rule and convention he could get his hands on, but he crossed a line there. After what happened in Egypt… No. He couldn’t let his mind go back there. He couldn’t think of Bill in the same way anymore. He was a monster now. And what better place for a monster hunt than Gravity Falls, Oregon?

“I haven’t just been hunting you down, Bill. I’ve been researching you. And I believe I have something you want.” Ford insisted. Turning behind him he opened the door to the warehouse.

What was once filled with old Gideon Gleeful merchandise was now looking like a scene from a spy thriller. Metal panels lined every inch of the warehouse, set to deploy all kinds of nasty surprises for those that ventured in. Trip lasers, pressure traps, dart cannons ready to fire- even a few magical defenses. Dipper recognized some of the runes on the wall. It would prevent some basic magical artifacts from working from mystic amulets to shrinking and growing crystals. This wasn’t a trap to catch a common criminal. It was for someone with magical knowledge. Someone like him. And yet at the center of all of this in plain sight was the bait that Ford left.

“Uh, Fordsy? I don’t know what kinds of kinky things you think I’m into, but a knocked out tied up broad in the middle of some kind of death trap is not my idea of a wild and crazy Saturday night. Maybe on a Thursday…” Bill admitted as he sized up the scene.

Dipper’s eyes widened as he looked at the center of the trap. “That’s not just anyone, that’s Mabel!” Dipper shouted worried.

He didn’t have to ask what she was doing there. She was supposed to scout ahead. She probably crawled in here to investigate and got herself caught up by whatever this trap was. And while his sister was competent, they had absolutely no preparation time to face what Ford had whipped up.

“Ford! Get her down from there!” Dipper immediately demanded.

“Yes, of course…” Ford said turning to a tile on the wall and removing it. Ford wasn’t too happy about doing this in front of Bill, but he wasn’t going to leave Mabel up there either.

Keeping his back to the rest of the officers who were making their way into the warehouse, he began keying in a long string of code. The net holding Mabel seemed to be on a track whirred from the center of the room toward where the entering party was. The net then lowered closer to the ground, dropping its prisoner in front of the cops and Pines. Either the warehouse used to be a factory at some point, or Ford had been making extensive modifications. How long had he been planning this for?

“Well, at least I know it works…” Ford mumbled as he leaned over toward the nets to set Mabel free. “She should be out cold for about an hour, but there shouldn’t be any negative side effects.”

Dipper quickly approached as well to make sure his sister was alright. Pulling all the netting off her, he immediately went to her wrist to check her heart rate. A little on the slow side for her, but judging by the rise and fall of her chest, there didn’t seem to be any impaired breathing. Nothing that pointed to a concussion either. So far, it looked like she was just out cold. Dipper let out a sigh of relief as he tried to prop his sister up in a more comfortable position against the wall.

A few of the tranquilizer darts were sticking out of the back of a blue sweater with a smiling red fish on it. Dipper began to pluck the darts out, but they were pretty deep in there. The heavy knit should have helped to keep some of them off her, but they pierced her skin just the same. Plus, Mabel wasn’t exactly some clumsy kid easily taken down. For one, she was a lot more flexible than he was. Out of the two of them, she was much more likely to last when thrown in a surprise trap like this. She joked that her sweaters acted as some kind of ninja weight training, and could easily shed her ‘skin’ like a snake if cornered. But the dart seemed to come at a high enough velocity to pierce through heavy clothing and fast acting if she wasn’t quick to toss off her sweater to get rid of the tranquilizers. She didn’t radio him back either. The warehouse might have blocked her signal, or it might have happened so quickly she didn’t get a chance to fill Dipper in. Either way, it must have caught her by surprise if she was caught this quickly.

Dipper could see the twinge of pride on Ford’s face. Mabel was probably ‘small game’ in his eyes, but just seeing that his elaborate trap worked so efficiently, without them even getting as much of a peep from outside was proof of his handy work. Dipper found himself glancing all around the warehouse for cracks and weaknesses. One of the windows high above them was probably where Mabel made her entrance. It looked easy to get in through, but they probably only led their quarry into a swift round of tranquilizers. Probably would have been safer to go through the front door. After all, there had to be some delay for Ford to enter the code. It looked pretty long with how many keys it took him to input, so lifting the fingerprints off each keystroke wouldn’t be too helpful. Chances were, he may not have even used normal digits but instead some range of alchemical symbols or something of his own code. Thinking back to the security room puzzle in Stanford’s bunker, just a simple little keypad wouldn’t have disabled the entire trap either- just controlled a small piece of it. It might take a while to get the full run of this place before properly infiltrating it.

…Wait, what was he doing? He didn’t need to break in! He didn’t even know what Stanford thought was so valuable to protect with all this mess! Bringing Ford’s ego down a peg or avenging Mabel was no excuse to bring down whatever this entire operation was!

Bill smirked as he could see the wheels in Dipper’s head turning. Perhaps he’d be a useful asset in all of this. The kid was just as easy to manipulate as Sixer. Tug at his pride some, spin a sob story, bring up some of that obvious family drama going on, and boom- he wouldn’t have to lift a finger to get what he wanted. Although… he probably should see what prize he was playing for first.

Bill’s eye tried to focus in on what was in the little glass case of the center of the room. Some kind of tablet or carving? It was hard to make out with all the smoke and lasers in the way.

“Ugh, if you’re going to try and dangle a carrot over my head, Poindexter, you got to bring the bait a little closer to that.” Bill complained. Bill squinted and put his hand over his eye trying to get a better look. “What’s that, a cave painting?”

Ford folded his hands behind his back as he turned toward his adversary. Now he had him. “Hieroglyphics. From Narmer’s tomb.” Ford answered calmly. But he knew the weight behind his words. Bill had unsettled him enough for tonight. It was Ford’s turn to wipe that smug look off his face.

Something in Bill snapped at the mention of that location. “All that time… it was YOU?!”

Bill angrily punched a steel panel on the wall. It probably hurt him more than the structure, but a few red lights sounded. Ford quickly tried to settle the alerts, going to another different panel on the wall. But it was worth it. He had what he wanted. Bill was angry. And with any luck, much more likely to do something incredibly stupid.

“HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU PLAN ON TAKING FROM ME?!” Bill shouted with a look in his eye like he was ready to strangle Stanford with his bare hands.

Most people’s eyes would go bloodshot with the rage Bill experienced. Yet instead, Bill’s seemed to look a little jaundiced even. Was that a faint yellow glow in his eye Dipper spied? And his pupils… they weren’t constricting from a rush of adrenaline. They were widening, yet not dilating. They looked like a misshapen straight line. Dipper had seen the signs enough times before. They were the look of a man possessed. The signs of a demon.

“Finally showing your true colors, Cipher?” Ford taunted. “It’s incredible how you’ve been able to blend into the physical plane for so long. But you can never hide what you truly are from me.”

Bill’s hand traced over the scars of his right eye. Sometimes they felt like a sick joke from a lifetime ago. But it was times like these that the scratches felt as fresh as the day they were made. He could feel them pulsing. Screaming at him. They were begging him to make it stop. To let Stanford know how wrong he was. To tell him everything in hopes that he’d understand. That he’d be able to help. That he’d be able to make things right again.

No.

That was all stupid human thinking. Stanford Pines had made his feelings clear long ago. He’d never see him as anything more than a monster. A demon. It was much easier to fight him that way. There was no going back. And why would he want to? This was who Bill was now. Who he’d always been. Why bother trying to cling to a lie?

Deputy Durland tried to approach his colleague that seemed to be slowly going insane. Blubs shook his head, silently urging him not to get any closer, but the naïve deputy pressed on anyways. He didn’t know much about this weird stuff going on, or the history between these two. All he saw was one of his rookies in a lot of pain.

“Are you going to be ok, buddy?” Durland asked in a meek voice as he put his hand on Bill’s shoulder.

Bill flinched from the touch. Wha? Someone like that trying to comfort _him_? Man, he really must be losing it! He gave a light chuckle as he looked back up at Stanford and reassessed the situation. Oh man, had he been looking at this all wrong.

“Haha… why would I need to hide from you?” Bill remarked as the yellow began to fade from his eyes, and his pupils returned to a normal shape. “You can look directly at me, and you still wouldn’t even begin to imagine what I am.”

But Ford refused to let Bill get his second wind. “You’re a beast. A demon. A monster in human clothing.”

Bill scoffed. “Boring old words. Can’t even begin to manage to do the job properly. They suit you well enough though. Tell me, how much have you told your new little _apprentice_ there?”

Dipper hadn’t been sure what to make of most of this conflict between the two of them. It didn’t seem like he could fully trust either of them, but at least Ford was family. Even if he was distant, he couldn’t believe that he’d try and manipulate him or toy with him like Bill did. But hiding things? That definitely sounded like Ford.

“Don’t bring him into this…” Ford insisted. “I was just waiting for the right time-”

“So squat then!” Bill interrupted. “You like to horde all those ‘secrets’ to yourself, but you really don’t get it, do you?”

Ford raised his eyebrow. Bill had to be bluffing. What was he playing at?

Bill gestured around him. “Was this your big ingenious plan? Nab something I want, and then put it on display in your death trap gallery? Bring your family to watch so they can praise you for succeeding over an enemy you didn’t even tell them existed and get yourself a new sidekick? Turn me into the cops for breaking and entering once I’m all tied up in one of your little nets? What, were you planning to hand them a list of special instructions for containing a ‘demon’ like me? Can’t imagine they’ll spray holly water on me every hour or so or properly draw any fancy circles! Not that it would work or anything, even if they did listen to your stupid demands. Even assuming that all worked, getting me arrested for theft would get me, what? Five years tops? Then what Sixer? I wait it out and walk off to carry on with my supposed big plan to blow up the planet or whatever you think I’m doing. Let me know when you can get the charges for _that_ to stick!”

Ford’s gaze shifted between Dipper and the cops. They were all looking at him strangely. Any concern they had for Bill going crazy and strangling him had now shifted toward confusion at the mad scientist that whipped up an unnecessarily elaborate trap. And frankly, Dipper was wondering about some of the problems in Ford’s plan as well.

“That wasn’t the entire plan…” Ford insisted. “But what’s your point?” Ford stammered as he adjusted his glasses.

Bill rubbed his temple annoyed that Ford was too prideful to own up to his mistake. “What, do I need to spell it out for you, Sixer? You spent too much time playing with your gizmos and trying to go on a monster hunt that you didn’t think this one through! Maybe if you had run your crazy scheme by some friends or family, they’d have pointed out the flaws sooner. Oh wait, you’re short on those now, aren’t you?”

Ford clenched his fist. He knew Bill was trying to rile him up. And he knew exactly what buttons to press. Ford’s mind began to reminisce between them: Stanley… Fiddleford… even Bill himself. All the mistakes he made and people he pushed away- could he really beat Bill alone? No, this was exactly how Bill wanted him to feel.

“It’s simple, Bill.” Ford said trying to stick with the original plan, despite all the holes he’d need to work out. “I have something you want. Try and retrieve it. I implore you to see what happens.”

Bill shrugged. “Oh, I’ll get everything that’s coming to me. And not in one of those ironic ‘Ack! I’m dying in a cruel and unusual way because I was a bad person and kicked puppies!’ kind of coming to me either. I’d go into detail, but it’s more fun to watch you imagine what I possibly could want.”

Bill then glanced around the room. But besides the glass display case and the death traps, he wasn’t seeing anything of interest.

“Now, where’s those donuts you promised? They’re the only reason any of us paid attention to a crackpot call like this.” Bill insisted smacking his lips together. He didn’t care if they were stale or poisoned, he just wanted to eat it right in front of Stanford’s stupid face.

All of the cops began to grin and nod behind him, preferring the promise of pastries a lot more to the drama that was going on. Stanford rolled his eyes annoyed as he leaned down to another panel. He was hoping that his big reveal would impress the cops enough that they wouldn’t remember why they came. Ford had even written up a big fancy speech that he didn’t get a chance to use. But he still had the two boxes of variety donuts just in case all this did go over even the Gravity Falls PD’s heads. Pulling them out of the hidden compartment, he reluctantly held them out for the cops.

Bill snatched one of the boxes out of Ford’s hand and began passing it around to the other officers.

“Alright, we all did good work here today! Time for the spoils!” He said as he passed it around, although he was quick to slap the hand of anyone that got too close to the kind he wanted.

“Especially you kid- I know how you like your sprinkles.” Bill said hanging the pink frosted donut on Deputy Durland’s elongated nose. Maybe he’d keep the idiot around once things really started cooking.

After making his round, Bill took the remaining saved Boston Cream donut for himself, tossing the empty box behind him. It passed through a few lasers, searing holes in the box.

“I will admit. It’s a cute trap you’ve got together. A professional even might have trouble with it.” Bill said with his gaze falling on Dipper. Despite all this, Bill still had plans to swoop in and get his prize. If anything, just to rub it in IQ’s wrinkled face.

“But you’re not up against some mindless beast or some run of the mill demon. You’re up against Bill Cipher. And your limited fleshy meat-sack can’t even come close to keeping me from what I want.” Bill bragged. Devouring his own donut in a few swift bites, he left a mess of cream and chocolate all over his gloves.

Most of the cops were too busy digging into the second round of donuts to notice Bill’s manner of speech. But Dipper didn’t need Bill’s blatant admission to know that Bill looked down on all of them. He didn’t know exactly what Bill was, but he knew he wasn’t human. He doubted Ford would tell him the full story, but whatever Bill wanted, it couldn’t be good. Maybe Dipper needed to help Ford fine tune his traps so someone like Bill wouldn’t be able to squeeze through, or maybe he’d be capable of discerning Bill’s true motives himself. Despite all of the conflict between Bill and Ford, not much had changed for Dipper. Bill was still a mystery that he planned on getting to the bottom of.

“Don’t forget about me, Bill!” Dipper interjected. “I’ll figure out what you’re planning, and I’ll put a stop to it!”

Bill chuckled as he momentarily reached into the fray of wrestling cops to pull out a powdered one. “No way I’m leaving you out of the equation, Pine Tree.” He said as he shoved the donut in Dipper’s mouth.

“Pine Tree?” Ford questioned quietly as he tried to weigh out the meaning behind the nickname in his head.

“If anything, I’d put more money on you figuring it out faster than Fordsy over here!” Bill admitted as he scuffed up Dipper’s hair getting the powder, bits of cream and chocolate all over his chestnut locks. “But you’re not going to stop me. If anything, you might want to join in on the party!”

Between Ford and Bill, it seemed like both sides of the equation were overly arrogant. Too much to take the thoughts of other people into account. They both thought they were smarter than everyone else. Only while Bill enjoyed manipulating people, Ford relied more on his inventions and intellect. Dipper on the other hand wasn’t too prideful to reach out to people. Spitting the powdery mess out of his mouth, Dipper shot Bill a glare.

“Do you ever take things seriously?” Dipper wondered.

Bill shrugged. “Eh, serious is over-rated. What do you even have left in you? Another ‘I’ll get you and your little dog too’ spiel?”

Dipper opened his mouth, but the words froze in his throat. Was there really was anything he could say that would get Bill to stop looking down on him? Probably not. But Ford managed to get him off his guard for a second, even if it did seem to backfire.

Dipper looked at the distant tablet under a glass display that was still hard to make out from here. For all they knew, it was a decoy and the real thing was elsewhere or didn’t exist at all. Yet somehow, it was enough to set Bill off anyways.

“You don’t have all the answers either, do you?” Dipper pointed out. “You talk a big game, but do _you_ even know what you want? All this talk of planning… did you even think things through?”

Bill had a witty remarked planned, but let it sink beneath his lips. Kicking the spit up bits of powdered donut on the ground, Bill only let out another shrug.

“It’s a flexible plan. But the end goal has always been the same. A party that never ends with a host that never dies. No more restrictions. No more laws. Not quite the doomsday I’m sure Sixer will pitch- much better than that.” Bill admitted as he tried to flick some of the sugar off of his overly messy gloves.

“No… I can’t imagine any of your parties being much fun for anyone but you.” Dipper admitted quietly. Bill didn’t paint himself as a hero, but he certainly seemed to believe that his path was the most ‘fun’ one. And he kept thinking that it was only a matter of time before others joined him. But at the rate he was going, he’d be walking alone. He’d stop this mess before it even began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More and more I see this version of Bill diverging from cannon Bill in more ways than just backstory. Not sure exactly how he'll end up, but he's still more than enough of a jerk for Dipper to handle. I'm interested in hearing all of your thoughts on Bill and Ford's history in the comments! 
> 
> Also, the title of this chapter was entirely inspired by this Batman: The Brave and the Bold song of the same name  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzPM9TnBFHU
> 
> ...It was either Death Trap or Donuts.


End file.
